Requiem for Hell
by RivikaStyx
Summary: Set in season six - Death sends a "nurse" to help Sam remain sane. Turn's out she's alot more than they expected.
1. What the Hell

**Rating****: **Mature

**Summary/Prompt****:** Ramblings of a muse during winter Hellatus [insert dramatic sigh here] Jan. 28th just can't come fast enough for me!

**Warnings/Spoilers****:** None really unless you haven't stayed somewhat current with Season 6, then I say shame on you /wink

**Word Count****:** Incomplete as yet, will update later

**A/N:** To be honest I don't know where this taking me, just something that I started writing and it sounds good so far.

**A/N**: Did you know, Requiem (which I thought was just another cool name for Anime shows) means "A mass said or sung for the repose of a departed soul". I have a partial idea of how that will relate to this story but honestly .. It just sounded like a really cool title.

**Please review and give feedback and I'm very excited to hear back on any criticism or advice or just comments in general. Thank you! RivikaStyx**

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_I do not own Supernatural, the Winchesters, Castiel, Bobby or any another "cast member" from the TV Show that may creep in to my stories from time to time, but if I did I'd give them cookies every day!_

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**Requiem for Hell**

In a small room in Detroit, there is a wall with a black stain that no amount of paint will cover. And in a small cemetery, just outside of Lawrence, Kansas there is a marker sitting in mud, where no grass grows, and puddles of water still sit in the ruts made by a large,heavy car. The wind blowing through the tree tops, creating an airy noise, was the first thing that the lone figure noticed, the second being the name carved hastily into the block marker. Empty liquor bottles and beer can's lay around in disarray, old by the looks of the ground and decay covering them, and a broken set of rosary beads half wrapped around it were the only signs that anyone actually knew what universal event had occurred here and the sacrifice that had been made for all humankind.

But the figure knew, as it squatted on the ground and fingered the rosary beads, looking up at the dark swirling storm clouds above. A deep, sad, soulful sigh, heaved small shoulders as a delicate black gloved hand tucked a stray lock of jet black hair back underneath the hood of its thin coat. Shivering slightly, it reached out and touched the marker with the rosary clenched tightly in its grasp. A small gasp, a vision of a musty room, thin cot, lots of metal and pain, and the figure straightened. Looking once again at the rosary in the palm of its hand, the hooded figure clenched its fist and made a frustrated sound.

* * *

Dean gasped, eye's flaring open, and came up off Bobby's couch, arms flailing. Bobby jumped, slamming his coffee cup on the desk.

"God bless it son, you scared the shit outa me!" Dean looked over at Bobby, a wild eye'd look on his face.

"Dean, you all right?" Bobby asked concerned.

"Dude, I'd swear someone just walked over my grave ..." Dean's voice died out as he ran a hand over his face to erase the strange feeling he'd just had. In his mind's eye he could still see the cemetery and a dark figure squatting in mud. He'd never forget that cemetery, it was Stulls, and it was the exact spot Sam had jumped into the pit.

"I should go check on Sam, see if there's any change." Bobby shook his head.

"No need, I just came from there and he's still unconscious." Dean sighed.

"Dammit," he said, looking towards the ceiling, "this was supposed to work. What the fuck is taking so long?" Bobby shrugged and came around the desk. He laid one hand on Dean's shoulder before walking into the kitchen and fetching more coffee. Dean sat on the couch and absently watched the older man, with hands on his chin prayer like style, and sighed heavily again.

"Not like Death would go to all that trouble to pull Sam's soul from hell just to pretend he put his soul back in Dean. Give it time. The boy hasn't slept for over a year, maybe his body is just catching up on some needed down time." Dean nodded. Bobby had told him that over and over again till he was sick of hearing it. Sam had his soul back, a wall up in his head, and still hadn't woke up and it'd been two days now. Dean was about to contact that wacky doctor again, though everything in him told him to just wait it out.

Therefore, him and Bobby had spent the last 48hrs going over what they knew about the lost souls. Which wasn't much. In addition, compiling notes they had on the bizarre monster behavior, which both determined stemmed from the fall out of the apocalypse. Bobby put all that and his notes about purgatory into what seemed to be a very thin folder that Dean had spent hours looking at, but not caring a single thing about. Right now his world revolved around the breathing pattern of his younger brother.

"I'm going to check in on Sam anyway." Bobby nodded and watched the older Winchester head down the basement stairs.

"Hey Sam, I don't know if you can hear me man, but I sure would appreciate it if you would give me one sign that you're in their little brother."

Dean started all his conversations with Sam off the same way the last few times he'd been down here to check on him. Him and Bobby decided to keep him handcuffed to the cot just in case things went south when he woke up, though Dean had a bad taste in his mouth every time he saw the bruises on his brothers wrist. After a while of silence, Dean left the panic room and wandered back upstairs. He was deep in thought when he got back to the living room and saw Bobby looking out the window, a bottle of holy water in one hand and the other hand holding down the blinds so he spy on the person walking onto the front porch.

Dean frowned at the bottle. "Bobby?" Dean asked pointedly. Bobby shrugged and put it down.

"She walked through the devil's trap," he stated looking back out the window, "we'll see if she crosses the ... yep she's human." He stated with a grumble and went to the door. A soft knock and a gruff answer from Bobby was all Dean could make out as he moved towards the hall to pear at the woman at the door.

Dark sunglasses hid most of her face, but Dean could tell she was young and very pretty. Bobby's hand was on the door knob, his body language obviously telling her to leave, but she either ignored him or was very stupid.

"I'm sorry to bother you, I realize this may seem strange," her softly accented voice said,"but I've come along way to find someone and I hope you can help me." Dean angled his head just enough to see her shift something to her left wrist and reach a black gloved hand inside her jacket. He eased the saftey on his pistol, and held the gun down, and just behind his back, noticing Bobby's shotgun was at the ready behind the door as well. But the stranger simply produced a set of beads and held them up for Bobby to inspect.

"Beads ... I don't ... " Bobby started to say then stopped abruptly, turning towards Dean, who had moved like lightening towards to door.

"Where the hell did you get those!" He yelled angrily.

"You know those beads Dean?" Bobby asked incredulously, knowing Dean had never been much of a believer and never held a set of rosary beads in high regards other than blessing water.

Dean nodded, glancing at Bobby a brief moment, then back at the woman. "Yeah, I left them at certain cemetery." Bobby's eyes widened and suddenly the shotgun came up just as Dean's pistol, neither having an effect on the stranger at all.

"Yes, Stulls I believe. I wished to deliver them back to Sam. He is here now isn't he?" She asked cocking her head to the side, gloved hand still extended with the rosary beads dangling from them. Both men exchanged troubled looks.

"What are you? Demon?" Dean asked. Bobby shook his head. "Could be Bella back with that accent - You sure?"

"Can't be, she walked right over the damn devils trap Dean." Both glanced down to ensure the salt was still in place around the threshold of the door. The woman frowned slightly and the hand finaly wavered before she dropped it down to her side.

"I'm sorry, perhaps I've gotten the address wrong. I'm looking for a Mr. Bobby Singer's residence. He has a houseguest that I'm interested in speaking with, I believe he needs my help with a particular head injury. If this is the wrong address would you kindly direct me to the correct one? And perhaps allow me to use your telephone? My cab driver was certain this was the correct place and has already left."

Perplexed the men looked at each other in stunned silence. Bobby slowly waved the tip of the shotgun in front to the screen window near the woman's face.

"You're blind." He stated flatly. Soft, pink lips formed a delicate grimace.

"Yes, a bit inconvenient at times," She held up her retractable cane in a kind of salute then returned the strap around her wrist and continued on, "but I manage to get by just fine. Now about that address and phone number?" Her voice trailed off expectantly. Both men immediately, albeit quietly, returned their weapons and Bobby opened the door.

"I'm sorry to come off as rude Miss. I'm Bobby and this here is Dean, my .. uh .. house guests brother. Please come inside." At the mention of Dean's name a relieved look crossed her face.

"I'm so glad I caught you here Dean. My name is Nikki Lee, by the way. Oh and Bobby you really need to get the coffee, its burning." Nikki extended her pole and began tapping her way down the hallway and into the living room. She managed to find the couch without help and sat down calmly. Meanwhile Bobby ran off to the kitchen to turn the coffee pot off just as smoke from the burner told him the coffee was indeed fixing to burn. He stepped out of the kitchen and gave Dean a telling look.

"So, you're a psychic?" She nodded.

"Something along those lines. I don't speak to dead people like Jennifer Love-Hewitt does though. I mostly get images in my head, visions, and without the use of tools. I can also read minds if the projections are strong enough and I am a natural healer. Is Sam still down in the metal room?" She asked calmly, rubbing her gloved hands on her jeans.

"Uh, listen, Nikki Lee, I don't know you and I'm not sure about you going anywhere near my brother right now ... he's um ... not up to taking any visitor's yet." Nikki frowned and dipped her head, her sunglasses dipping down on her nose enough for Dean to glimpse solid white orb's framed by thick eye lashes. He quickly glanced at Bobby, who was looking at her frowning as well, and then back to Nikki, who was shaking her head.

"But the man told me that by the time I arrived your brother would be awake and needing my help." She stated confused.

Rocking back at the mention of a man Dean's frown deepened to a scowl. "What man told you this Nikki?" He asked, motioning for Bobby to go around and double the check the perimeter of the house.

"He was an older gentleman, very polite, frail almost, with cold hands and smelled of pizza. He told me that Sam Winchester would need my abilities and that I needed to come here. He requested that I take off my gloves and shake his hand, which I rarely do but something about him seemed almost commanding, so I did it and when I touched his hand I was bombarded with images of a tall man, very handsome, in agonizing pain, and other images of another man, smaller a bit, handsome as well, obviously brother's, and there were gun's and blood, and so much pain ... "she trailed off for a moment in a daze of sorts, then lifting her head and pushing her sunglasses back up she continued, "when he let go of my hand he was gone. I know how strange that sounds but if you are who I think you are, you'll believe me. Am I right Dean? You do know who the man was?" She questioned. Bobby had returned to the room and was listening to her story. At the mention of the man he looked to Dean with a surprised look and mouthed "Death?" to him. Dean nodded.

"Yes I know who the man was, and if he sent you here then you may be exactly what my brother needs."

* * *

Very gently Dean escorted Nikki down the stairs and to Sam's cot, where to his dismay, he saw signs that Sam had been trying to come awake. Chaos ensued as Bobby immediately rushed to unlock the handcuff's and Dean gripped Sam's shoulder's and begging his brother to wake up. Nikki quietly stayed to the back and out of the way, waiting patiently for the din of noise to die down. Quietly she said "Dean, let me try ..." and Dean, almost forgetting her presence in an effort to get Sam to fully wake up, took her hand and guided her to Sam's cot. She knelt down and smoothed Sam's brow, murmuring low to him that it was time to wake up and rejoin the world again.

Sam came slowly to his senses feeling a warm hand on his forehead. He blinked once, twice, then opened his eyes to the darkened interior of the panic room he knew by heart. It took a moment for his sight to catch up with his mind, then with eye's wide open, he inhaled a painful ragged breath.

"Chest .. feels like .. a bomb .. Ugh!" he said in a gravely, hoarse voice, his eye's finaly focusing enough on the person in front of him.

"I'm sure it does Sam, but how does your head feel right now?" Sam frowned at the woman in the sunglasses hovering over him. Somehow he felt as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her to be holding his hand and stroking his brow. He looked up at her for a second and then closed his eyes again.

"Hurts .. " he croaked, "Where's D'n?" Dean immediately came forward, Nikki moving to squat at the end of the cot, still keeping her hands on Sam's temples, massaging gently.

"Right here Sam." Sam opened his eyes as Dean's face came into focus. Dean stared intently for a moment deep into Sam's mournful gaze.

"You back in there Sam?" Dean asked gruffly. Tears welled in Sam's eyes.

"D'n, 'm so ... " he started but couldn't finish, a small gasp from Nikki who immediately spread her fingers over Sam's scalp, her brow knitting in a painful knot.

"Enough," she barked, "Sam needs rest. He's been through enough and doesn't need to be upset. There's a healing process, Sam, not just for you but for all involved." She rose from her knees and accepted Bobby's offered arm.

"We need to get him into a room and a regular bed where he will be more comfortable Bobby. " Bobby glanced at Sam one last time then guided Nikki back upstairs.

Dean, still kneeling on the ground next to Sam's cot, sighed deeply. Sam opened his eyes and through his haze of pain managed enough energy to nudge Dean's arm with his wrist. Dean's head came up and he looked at his brother for the first time in over a year, an overwhelming sense of gratitude welling tears in his own eyes. Taking Sam's hand, he smiled a watery smile, Sam answering with his own.

"I know man, m'jus so fucking glad your back. You, without a soul, are one huge douche bag, ya know it?" Him and Sam chuckled, until Sam's body tightened up in pain, Dean immediately kicking in to protective mode.

"Seriously .. should'a .. moved me .. while I was out .. would'a .. hurt alot less .. " he said in between ragged breaths and trying to shift in a way that would allow him more breathing space. But the cot was smaller than he was and barely contained his wide shoulders, his feet hanging off the end by several feet.

"Whose ... the woman ... wi .. with ... tha .. m'ag .. ic .. fingers?" he gasped out.

Dean sighed, and managed to maneuver his arm under Sam's shoulder and gently help him sit up on the cot. Pain arced all throughout Sam's body, and the world tilted wickedly causing his stomach to roll and for a brief second he thought he was going to be sick. Dean paused, noticing Sam's clenched jaw and rigid body, instantly alerting him that Sam was definitely going to throw up. He quickly reached for the bucket in enough time for Sam to dry heave into it. Sam leaned his head heavily back against the cold metal wall and sighed. Dean sat beside him still holding the bucket, Sam's arms hung limply at his sides as his head drooped towards Dean's shoulder.

"Feel like shit right?" Sam weakly nodded.

"So, I don't know how much you remember, and I don't know how much you need to remember, now or ever. But the girl's name is Nikki Lee and she's been sent here to help you by someone I, more or less, trust. She's definitely easy on the eyes huh?" He chuckled to himself as he realized that Sam had passed out.

_Great, how the hell am I going to get him up those damn stairs?_

"Hello Dean." Dean nearly jumped out of his hide, the heavily accented voice of Death being the very LAST being he wanted to hear right now.

"Um ... yeah." Dean grimaced, remembering the bucket of bile he was currently holding and hoping Death wouldn't be offended or some such stupid thing and take Sam's soul back.

"Trust me, I've seen worse bodily fluids before. How is he?" Death's deadpan eyes raked over Sam's unconscious form before looking Dean dead on. Dean shivered and tried his best to get the bucket to the floor without toppling Sam over in the process. Death gently took the bucket from Dean's hands and sat down on the other side of the cot next to Sam, depositing the bucket on the floor next to him. This decidedly made Dean very uncomfortable.

"Well, he just woke up, not sure if your friend Nikki ... " Death cocked his head and nodded.

"Excellent she found her way here."

"Yeah, so why?" Dean kept nervously looking at Sam through the corner of his eye and then back over to Death.

"I would think that would be obvious Dean. Her qualifications included everything that would be needed: Natural healing abilities, she's a very strong psychic, excellent ability to send and receive projected images or feelings. Combined with her innocent, young, and attractive good looks I felt she would be the perfect choice for a nurse of sorts. Do you approve of my choice Dean?" Death leaned forward on his cane and looked directly at Dean, who nodded immediately.

"Absolutely, does she give sponge baths?" He snickered, earning him a "bitchface" from Death, which he quickly decided looked better on Sam. Clearing his throat, he went stone still and put a protective arm in front of Sam as Death rose from the cot.

"Once Sam has had time to recuperate I assume you will continue your search for the lost souls?" Dean nodded, serious this time.

"I've already been working on it, though I don't have much to go on. I assume you'll know if I find something you need to know about?" Death nodded his head. Dean relaxed a bit and shouldered Sam, who hadn't budged once during their conversation. Dean hesitated then looked back at Death.

"Umm .. I don't suppose ... " Death sighed dramatically and next thing Dean knew him and Sam were upstairs in one of Bobby's extra rooms. Bobby gave Dean a startled look then rushed forward to help ease the unconscious Sam down on the bed. He looked out from under Sam's arm at Dean, a question in his eyes.

"A mutual friend popped in to check on Sam." Dean grunted as he eased Sam back against the pillows. Bobby frowned.

"Cas?"

"An OLD mutual friend, VERY old." Bobby's eyes widened again and he mouthed "_Death? Again? Here_?" Dean nodded, exhaustion clearly wrote on his face.

"Bobby, listen, we may need to crash here for a while. You have another bedroom or something that .. " Nikki's cane announced her presence as she walked into the room and deposited a bag on the dresser next to the door, interrupting Dean.

"I'll be rooming with Sam for the time being Dean. Bobby has another room set up across the hall from here for you to stay in." Bobby's cheeks reddened a bit, and Dean glanced from him to Nikki.

"Uhhhh ... " Nikki laughed.

"It's perfectly innocent. I can't see Sam, but I can hear him, therefore it will be much easier if I stay in the same room with him and don't have to stumble my way around to find him. You and Bobby can bring the cot up from the basement and put it in here and I can sleep on that. Luckily this room has all the amenities in it, which I am grateful for that, since the only other unoccupied room with a full bath is upstairs." Dean glanced at Bobby who shrugged.

"She's good, I didn't get around to showing her the layout of the house yet. Which I promise to do in the morning."

Dean frowned at the thought of her having to sleep on the cot. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have my room across the hall? That cot has seen it's better days trust me."

She smiled softly and removed her glasses, finaly giving both men a full view of her face and eye's. She was strikingly beautiful as Death had said, but upon closer examination Dean noticed two things: the pupils of her eyes were colorless and there were fine white scars, some deeper than others, around her eyebrow's and cheek bones and going from the corner's of her eye's and extending into her hair line. She methodically placed everything on the dresser in a certain order and opened her small duffel bag, which seemed uncommonly empty for a woman Dean mused, knowing that Lisa always left the house with a purse that held more items than Nikki's little bag. Bobby uncomfortably cleared his throat, noticing Dean's stare, and Dean shuffled his feet, turning at Bobby's distraction and realizing that was his cue that meant "We need to talk".

"Ok, so umm, Sam looks like he's going to be out the rest of the night, we'll go get that cot for you then." Nikki nodded absentmindedly as she removed a toothbrush and toothpaste from a plastic ziplock baggy, a brush, one bottle of water, and two books from her bag.

* * *

Downstairs Bobby and Dean grabbed the cot from the panic room and some extra blankets and pillows. They maneuvered the bed upstairs and put it exactly in the location that would be best for Nikki to get around easily. After checking on Sam one last time, and a stern lecture from Nikki about not waking Sam up to soon, the three left the room and headed to the kitchen. Bobby warmed up the now cold, and somewhat burnt coffee and offered Dean a beer. Nikki declined, brandishing her bottled water with polite smile.

"So, go ahead, ask away."

"First things first, is Sam unconscious again or just sleeping soundly?" Dean asked, no one needing to twist his arm.

"I suppose a bit of both. I put him in a deeper sleep. The human body isn't wired to go so long without sleep ... and due to his recent ... traumatic event ... he needs to give his heart and his mind a good rest." Bobby drew in a deep breath.

"Is there something else wrong with his body, some side affect?" Nikki shook her head.

"Not that I can tell, though his heart is a bit stressed, which I don't know if it's from lack of down time that sleep gives it or just the events of recent ... activity." Dean sighed.

"Ok, so that leads me to my next question: How much did the "man" tell you about me and Sam and his "event"." Nikki shifted in her chair, her gloved hands toying with her water bottle.

"More than maybe you would feel comfortable with."

"How much more?" He pushed.

"You're hunters, you go after supernatural beings, you have an Arch Angel as a friend who comes to you from time to time, Sam was imprisoned with Lucifer and Michael in order to save the world from the apocalypse which, in my opinion, was NOT started by him but which he blames solely himself for, you both actually have been to hell and quite literally, and you really need to call Lisa because she misses you as much as you miss her and simply needs to UNDERSTAND what's going on." Dean inhaled a calming breath, no one knew that much about him and Sam except Bobby, well a few other hunter's but once he caught the trail of Walt and Roy he'd fix that, but that last comment about Lisa was one he would let go for now.

"Oh, that man was Death, who is definitely not what I expected and yet so much more than I expected if you understand my meaning." Bobby stood and quietly opened the cabinet under the sink and brought out his special brew and poured two rounds, one for him and one for Dean. Dean sighed and rubbed a hand down his face.

Bobby shot Dean a look before saying "Ok, that's more than what we expected and fairly accurate, I think."

"So, why do you think the apocalypse wasn't started by Sam?" Dean asked curiously.

"Obviously Zachariah was more instrumental and you, Sam, Bobby, and Castiel were the pawns. Hell had what you call "player's" as well but from what I gleaned from Death, if anyone was to blame I would put Zachariah on trail for it." Dean approved of Nikki in that instant, and he smiled at Bobby who shook his head.

"Can't find any fault in that thinking. So what's your story? Most people would be running for the hills once they found out all that."

"My story is brief, but tragic nonetheless. I grew up just outside of England. My parents took a job here in the states at a University were they studied ancient languages and history. When I was 8yrs old my abilities began showing themselves to be rather strong. On my way home from school I had an image of a car accident involving a classmate. I stopped it, but there was a man there, he came to me and asked me how I knew to stop it. I couldn't talk because he was so incredibly bright. I asked him to turn down his angel light and it made him mad. He grabbed my wrist and instantly froze in place. He scared me so I ran home. Later that night, he came looking for me, but not before he found my parents first." Dean stared at her in shock.

"Touching you froze an angel?" Nikki nodded. Bobby poured him and Dean another shot, eye's wide and shaking his head.

"New one on me Dean." Bobby stated and downed his shot.

"Anyway, that was the night I lost my sight. They thought my powers were connected to visibly being able to view the person to paralyze them. They weren't, but by the time they figured that out I was able to grab at both of them. With both out of commission I ran to a neighbor's house and seeing my condition they called the police and ambulance and I was taken away. I don't know why they never searched for me again, until I spoke with Death a few days ago. I am what he called a "Null". I can paralyze anything, celestial or demonic, with a simple touch. Witches, warlocks, there is no supernatural being out there that I can't touch and paralyze, with the exception of Death of course. Him I have no affect on. We tested it."

"Nikki that's incredible. And lethal at the same time, for you. I don't understand how you've stayed alive with that kind of power. I've seen them kill for lesser reasons." Dean stated.

Nikki nodded, "I know, Death said that he was brought to me by a reaper because of my untimely death. He further told me that, at that particular time, there had already been many that he'd had to clean up and that he knew that one day I would be able to restore order to the unnatural flow in the universe that Heaven had started. He brought me back, wiped my memory of my death, and protected me like you and Sam, with runes on my rib cage. He said that he did all that so that I could eventually get here to you and Sam, which is exactly where I was meant to end up. I've encountered many things, Dean Winchester, but I tell you that up until a few days ago I had been wandering on my own for many years, living off my disability payments, and going to the places that I see in my visions. Helping people when they need it. I can see souls Dean, and I know that you will need my help finding the ones that are being taken. I also know that I can help your Angel, Castiel, with his problem too. Because the same Angel that took my sight is the same Angel that wants to take over Heaven and send Sam back to Hell." She yawned, exhausted from the day's events, and stood. Bobby and Dean stood as well and Dean moved around the table and offered Nikki his arm.

"I promise I'll take good care of Sam, Dean. And you never know, I may even be able to help you as well, if you'd allow me." She smiled softly up at him and Dean felt a slight squeeze around his heart as her warm gloved hand lightly grasped his arm near his elbow.

"Just fix Sam and keep his head from exploding and I'll be fine." Nikki chuckled.

"He was right, you really are hard headed." Bobby chuckled behind them, and Dean shot him a glare.

"Who was right? Bobby? What have you been telling her?" Dean asked outraged. Bobby shook his head.

"Wasn't me, though you are as stubborn as your Daddy." At the door to Sam's room Nikki stopped.

"Death, Dean. He said that you would balk at my offer to help you as well as Sam but that eventually I would win out." She winked at him as he stopped them next to the cot.

"He said that huh?" She nodded.

"Frightening isn't it? Death knowing you so well. I was bit intimidated myself." She crossed to Sam, moved a hand over his forehead and then moved back to the cot. Sam's breathing was even though still a bit shallow and ragged. Dean sat on the bed next to his brother, and Bobby moved stand on the other side.

"Night Sammy, sleep well little brother." He said and turned to Nikki.

"Hey, I noticed you have very little in that bag of yours. If you want, we can go into town tomorrow and get whatever things you need." Nikki smiled at him.

"That would be nice Dean thank you, but we'll see how tomorrow plays out. We'll wake Sam up and go from there." She stifled another yawn and, using her cane, made her way to the dresser to grab a pair of sweat pants from her duffle. Heading towards the bathroom Bobby stopped her and asked if she needing anything from the kitchen before they all crashed for the night.

"My bottle of water, I left it on the table, would you mind refilling it and bringing it to me?" Bobby leaned in slightly and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"I don't know if you can hear me kiddo, but sleep peacefully Sam." He walked out of the room to fetch Nikki's bottle, brought it back, and placed it on the nightstand between her cot and Sam's bed. Nikki emerged from the bathroom thanked Bobby and everyone settled in to bed, longing for morning to come as swiftly as possible and see if Sam was really back or not.

**- I'm very ****narcissistic so ********p**lease review -  



	2. That's Just How Winchesters Work

**Chapter Two**

Sam lay in bed staring at the ceiling, the soft sounds coming from the cot letting him know that the woman, Nikki, was still asleep beside him. He also knew that Dean hadn't gotten out of bed yet and that Bobby was at work downstairs because the phone had rung five times and it wasn't even 5am yet. He'd been trying to sort out what all had happened to him and so far it was pretty grim.

Most of his memories stemmed from what seemed like an alternate state of consciousness. He could only go back so far and then he felt a block in his mind and automatically new that he'd best not go any farther than that wall. But what he could remember scared the hell out of him. He'd always knew that him and Dean were borderline psychotic killers, but to be confronted with memories of such cold and calculated kills frightened him. What's more, his actions towards Dean and Bobby and the precision with which he'd carelessly executed his plan's to resolve his cases were the most terrifying. He had an inside glimpse of the mind of a serial killer and it made him nauseous to know that he had become that killer.

Now he was left picking up the pieces, cleaning up the mess of a broken relationship he'd left tattered, and flapping in the wind with Dean. _Oh my god, I actually told Dean I didn't care about him, tried to kill him and Bobby. _ He'd lain in bed for two hours, agonizing over it, trying to come to terms with his actions and so far all he'd done was barely hang on to what little dignity and self respect he had left, expecting Bobby or Dean to burst through the door with loaded weapons or worse to treat him as coldly as he'd done them and toss him out on his ass without another thought.

_It would be nothing short of what I deserved. I am the monster now._

"Stop it Sam. He did everything in his power to get your soul back and to ensure that you lived as normal and long a life as can be expected." Nikki's voice was soft and kind, unexpected and almost sacrilegious when introduced to the vile thoughts rolling around in Sam's head.

He tried to move to look at her but was brought up short with sharp pains in his chest and abdomen. She stood and moved slowly towards him, her small and delicately cool hands skimming his brow and moving down over his chest, alleviating pain and leaving a feeling of warmth and peace in their wake.

"No one expected me to even be alive, let alone be up top and trying to kill my family!" he blurted out angrily, uncaring that he was trusting a complete strange with something so personal.

"Wow, of all the things I glimpsed about you Sam Winchester I never caught on to the fact that you were quitter." Sam glared at her oddly colored eyes and fumed.

"You don't know anything about me ... !" Nikki laughed.

"I know that you've fought against evil that surrounded you your whole life, you have a higher expectation for the lives that you save than you have for yourself and that extends to your brother as well, you endured torture to save the world and now that you're back your worst fear is living again. Because if you do start to live again you'll have to shoulder those burdens you placed on yourself and face your mistakes and all those people who know your mistakes like Dean and Bobby." Sam stared at her in open-mouthed shock; she'd just summed up exactly how he'd been feeling this morning.

"Who sent you?" he finally asked.

"Death. Ironic isn't it?" Sam sighed at her words, definitely ironic since the one thing he'd actually craved was the one thing keeping him alive.

* * *

Dean stood outside Sam's door, a shoulder up against the jam and a hand over his face. He'd heard their conversation and was furious at his brother. He wanted to die? After all this, he just wanted to give up and flake out? Dean wanted to go in and beat his ass but he knew where he was coming from. After he'd come back and began remembering everything he'd done, what he'd become, for a time his stint in hell seemed better than living with what he'd thought had been a lie. He'd felt less than human and so alone. But his hell was confined to only what he remembered, Sam's hell had extended out and affected people that he'd cared about, making his guilt ten times as bad. And if there was one thing consistent with Sam, he knew how to multiply his guilt and meld it into one big steaming pile of hatred.

"Morning Sunshine!" Dean said cheerily as he entered the room. "Nikki Lee you are looking hot in that sexy nurses uniform!" He whistled low and nudged Sam, who rewarded him with a long awaited "bitchface". Nikki laughed and made her way carefully towards the bathroom, her jeans in hand.

"Morning Dean, if you need anything call me, I'm going to take a shower." Sam almost panicked when he realized he'd be left alone in the room with Dean. Dean sat down on the bed, feeling awkward that Sam couldn't even look him in the eyes.

"Dude, I don't want to go over this but one time. You're my brother, I love you, and I'd do anything for you. You know that. That other guy wasn't you, you were in the pit with two angels playing rugby with your soul. But you're out now and you have a whole cosmos of beings working to make sure your head doesn't blow up and you live long enough to put up with me ... for a real long time. So I'll give you two days to throw yourself the largest pity party you can, then after that you're gonna rejoin the living got it?" Sam looked at Dean this time, shame and anger written plainly on his face, and nodded once.

"Good, now milk this all you can, maybe you'll get a sponge bath outa ... " The bathroom door swung open and a sopping wet sponge hit Dean squarely in the chest. Sam chuckled as Nikki's wet head peaked around the corner.

"Sponge that ... !"

"Damn psychic's ... " Dean muttered. Sam chuckled and rolled his eyes.

Sighing he looked seriously at Dean and said "Hey, so um ... listen ... uh I need to talk to you and Bobby ... do you uh ... think he'd ... I don't know ... listen to me?" Dean stared at Sam like he'd grown two heads.

"Dude, Bobby's family. Of course he would, but you don't have to ..." Sam shook his head.

"Damn it Dean ... don't make excuses for me! I know what I did .. to him .. to you .." Dean rocked back at the wrath on Sam's face, "I KNOW what I tried to do .. and as usual "sorry" isn't enough right? I fucked up before, was given a second chance and fucked that up and now ..." Sam took a breath, his chest feeling as if it was on fire, and let loose a painful cry.

"_I think perhaps I'm going to let you stew in that one for a bit Sam as I already explained this morning that you're being quite the angst ridden pain in the ass. Guilt I can understand, but you should have learned from past mistakes that anger towards yourself only leads to even more anger which eventually leads to ... I don't know ... the end of world? Dean, make yourself useful and fetch Sam some juice and toast for breakfast." _Dean frowned in consternation at the patronizing tone of Nikki coming from the bathroom and started to let her know what he thought, but Sam's ragged breathing distracted him.

"Sam, I don't want us to fight .. I'm sorry .. I ..." Sam shook his head.

"She's right .. I have to .. to .. confront this .." the last part came out more of a hiss than anything else as his body began to contort with massive cramps. "Ahhh .. d'n ... !"

"Nikki .. !" Dean yelled, alarmed at how bad the pain was for Sam. Bobby threw the door open, eyes wide and concerned.

"What happened!" Nikki opened the bathroom door and made her way to the bed and placed her bare hands on Sam's chest. A few seconds ticked by and the pain finaly subsided and he settled back against the pillows breathing more calmly.

"Enough of this crap between the two of you. Bobby, Sam is feeling a horrendous amount of guilt for trying to kill you when he had no soul and Dean, Sam is sorry for basically the same thing, I believe the vampire incident is what he is projecting. He's also sorry for being angry, blood addicted, not doing MORE than HUMANLY possible to get YOU out of hell, breaking up your relationship with Lisa .. seriously Sam he'd screwed that relationship up without your help .. and ..." she shook her head confused," for the love of Pete .. something about dropping your toothbrush in the toilet a few weeks back and not bothering to tell you about it .. what are you twelve?" All three pairs of eyes bored a hole in the ceiling.

"You are grown men for heaven's sake. Is communication a lost art between you or do you still piss hieroglyphics in the dirt and grunt your syllables? Hunter's Supreme you may be, but by god you need therapy! Now all of those who ARE NOT confined to bed with traumatic brain injuries AND mutilated souls get the hell out of this room and don't come back unless you have something constructive to either say or do that will NOT upset SAM!" She pointed her finger at the wall, but Dean was definitely not going to correct her, and him and Bobby promptly vacated the room.

* * *

Sam lay there looking at her and almost smiled if it wasn't for the fact that his head and throat ached, his stomach was growling, and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He shifted uncomfortably and sighed. He made a mental note to not agitate the only person capable of lifting him out of the bed and onto the toilet.

"Do you think you can get to the bathroom and in to the shower? I know you haven't been a wake for long but you'll get over the soreness faster if you get up and try to move about a bit. I can't see naturally, so that will give you plenty of privacy if you need my help, other than that I'm going to have to get Dean and so help me if you pick another argument with your brother who went through his own private hell trying to get you back I may very well throttle you myself."

This last bit tickled Sam, because he couldn't see soft little Nikki Lee hurting anything, though her temper was a sight to see. Her face was flushed, and she was fussing over his covers, her hands taking place in an animated air show as she talked.

"I think I'll be fine .. and thanks for that .. sometimes family can be a bit complicated I guess and we Winchesters have never pulled "family" off well." Sam said, attempting at sitting up on his own. Nikki moved to help him, making sure he made no sudden movements, and within a few minutes had Sam safely in the bathroom. She waited patiently outside on her cot as Sam finished his shower and opened the door. She wrapped an arm around his chest and they cautiously made their way back to the bed.

She was shocked, when she had first touched him, he had been in so much pain that night, but today he was warm and wet and obviously had a well-sculpted body. It seemed to her that she felt every ripple of hard and toned muscle and it was definitely not displeasing her one bit. She had never been with a man, but when she did she freverently hoped it would be with someone who felt like this. _Oh my god! I can't believe that I'm even thinking that! I was sent here to help him not lose my virginity to him! Snap out of it before you project some sexual fantasy and get laughed right out on your butt! _She hadn't even noticed that she was leaning over Sam with her hands still on his chest after he'd already laid back down on the bed.

He cleared his throat and asked "Is everything alright? I didn't knock anything loose did I?"

"Oh, sorry, no I was .. um .. just double checking your muscles .. I mean your heart muscle." _Oh god what am I saying!_ "You know not sleeping for over a year can take its toll on things like that." She immediately withdrew her hands, prayed that she wasn't blushing, and made her way to the dresser where she slipped on her jacket and her gloves.

"I'm going to get us some breakfast. I'll be right back Sam." He'd already closed his eyes and just nodded his head as he rested against the pillows.

"Sam? Are you alright? Did you fall asleep?" She questioned. Sam started, forgetting she couldn't see, he felt like such an ass.

"Sorry Nikki, I nodded and then just spaced out. Breakfast sounds good, but you don't have to wait on me I'll make my way in there in a bit."

"Don't be ridiculous Sam, I'm not going to wait on you hand and foot. Your brother is feeling guilty enough I'll .. how did he say it .. "milk that"." She winked and walked out of the room leaving Sam chuckling to himself. He didn't know much about her but he knew she'd fit right in while she was with them.

* * *

The rest of the day passed quietly for Sam. Him and Nikki got to know each other pretty well and in between talking about both their lives and adventures they'd had, Dean or Bobby or both would come in and out of the room to check on them and them bring them what they needed. Sure enough, Nikki had guilted his brother into doing pretty much what she wanted him to do, though Sam knew that Dean never did anything he didn't really want to, and the reprieve he'd gotten from Dean's lecture wasn't over, just postponed. After a week of recuperating and slowly getting up and moving around Sam was able to make it through most of the day without having an attack. But night time was when the worst of the episodes came. When his mind was at rest and could wander without him actively ensuring that he didn't travel to far down memory lane, was when he got in to trouble.

Nikki had become his saving grace. Twice he had woke up to the sounds of his own screams, nose bleeding, arms thrashing wildly, and Dean pinning him down so Nikki could get close enough to lay hands on him and shut him down. On those nights, after Dean had left the room to pace or lay awake intently listening for an episode to spike again, she had laid down next to him and they had both fallen asleep to her massaging his temples or shoulders. A few days of this and Sam and Nikki noticed a change in Sam's sleeping patterns: When she was in bed with him he didn't have attacks as bad. Several days of testing this arrangement out and Sam was sleeping throughout the night. He was moving around without pain, able to exercise more during the day, and feeling more himself.

Unfortunately, the side effect for him was that he had secretly, at least hoped it was as much a secret as he could keep from Nikki, been in a different kind of pain. His attraction to Nikki had grown stronger and his need to keep her close had bled from mental to physical. He relished going to bed at night and waking up in the mornings with tangled legs and soft warm skin. How this was going to play out when they hit the road he didn't know, and the hard on that he woke ever morning with was becoming second nature to contend with in the privacy of the bathroom once Nikki silently excused herself from the room. But the road didn't allow much privacy and Dean could be a pit bull when he caught the scent of embarrassment on Sam. He knew that it was going to be time to leave soon, and since Dean had made it plain that Nikki was there to stay (knowing full well that the decision had come from Death and not just Dean being over protective) it was time to talk some things out with Dean.

Walking through Bobby's house, Sam searched out Dean who was busy working on the Impala outside. Sam carried two beer's in his hand and stood patiently by as Dean wiped off his hands and accepted the cool drink. They sat down on the front of the car and sipped silently until Dean spoke up.

"So, she's good for another 700 miles now. We still on lock down on what we can talk about?" He asked contritely. Sam chuckled.

"I don't know, mention the word and see if she pop's up with a cat-o-nine and starts wailing on us." Dean cast suspicious looks around the yard.

"Ok, so look, there's some things I need to talk to you about before we head out ..." Dean began shaking his head but Sam held up a hand, "Dude I'm not going to bring anything up unless you want me too .. I'm talking about Nikki."

"Oh, ok, cool ..." Dean said sipping his beer. "You do her yet?" he joked and nudged Sam, which drew a bitchface and hard shove back. Dean nearly choked.

"Oh my god dude, you have the hot's for your psychic nurse!" Dean nearly fell off the car laughing. Sam sighed.

"Haha .. can you please be serious for a moment Dean?" Dean straightened up and just barely managed to pull it together.

"We sleep together," Dean, completely loosing it, fell onto his brother laughing," it's not physical, yet, it's to make sure I don't have a psychotic episode .. you ass would you be serious here!"

"Dude I'm honestly trying, but oh my god Sam, only you could have issues with this." Standing up he took several deep breaths and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Ok, look, it's simple really. I'm like, a heavy sleeper man, so I don't care if my little brother has a whole swim team in his bed that helps keep that melon glued on straight. I'm also well aware that it's going to be different having a girl in the car and in the room and that I'll have to actually wear clothes when I come out of the shower. But the alternative is that we give up hunting and since that isn't really an option right now ..." Dean stopped when he noticed Sam's face. "What?" He asked.

"You'd give up hunting?" Sam asked.

"If you needed me to yeah, of course I would." Dean shuffled his feet and started wiping down tools which was Winchester code for "don't go there it's too close to discussing feelings and that makes men look like girls and Winchesters are so not girls". Sam cocked his head and made a "hrumph" sound, clearly impressed that his brother would actually do that for him.

_Maybe Dean doesn't hate me, Sam thought._

_God, how could Sammy think I wouldn't lasso the moon for him if I thought it would make things better, Dean thought._

_Morons, Bobby thought as he walked towards the boys, shaking his head._

"You boys ever think that maybe Nikki had a point when she mentioned therapy?" he stated. Both Winchesters smiled sheepishly and chuckled. Sam stood up and immediately threw his arms around Bobby and hugged him. Shocked, Bobby hugged him back and Dean looked on rolling his eyes.

"Told you once before boy, it wasn't you." Bobby put a hand on Sam's shoulder who nodded at him.

"I know," he whispered quietly," that was for both you and Dean. If I tried to hug him, he'd just knee me in the balls." Bobby laughed. Dean nodded and pointed towards Sam with a wrench.

"I still might you big pansy." Sam chuckled and then tossed something over to Dean.

"Something RoboSam was supposed to have given you back but was too much of a douche bag to do. Before we left out again, and since it's so close your birthday anyway, I thought this would be the perfect time." Dean looked at Sam and frowned as he held the small brown paper wrapped package in his hand.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Open it and find out, idiot." Bobby exclaimed, standing there with his hands in his vest pockets.

Dean opened the package and there was his amulet that Sam had given him so long ago. He'd been such an asshole when he'd tossed it in the trash can at the motel but at the time it seemed to embody everything that had went wrong: the search for God by Cas, his broken relationship with Sam, the terrifying hopelessness they'd had over not being able to stop the apocalypse. Now, holding it in his hand, he remembered how when he'd left Sam at that rest stop to split up, that he'd drove hard to get back to that motel and find the necklace but he'd thought it had been too late, that either someone had picked it up while cleaning the room or that it had been thrown away. Now he knew it had never been left behind at all, that Sam had stashed it away hoping that his brother would once again care about him enough to wear it. He looked solemnly at Sam and hugged his brother tightly.

"I never stopped caring about you Sam, never stopped praying, just never stopped ... you're all I've got man." Embarrassed to display such a chic flick moment in front of Bobby, they pulled apart and shuffled around. Clearing his throat, Sam smiled at Dean.

"It was in my duffel bag. In the chaos of those last few weeks before .. well .. before it all went down, I was supposed to give it to you but shit happened so fast and ..." Dean shook his head and placed the necklace over his head, letting it rest on his chest. The world just seemed to fall neatly into place then, for both Sam and Dean.

"You know what bro, Nikki's right, I don't even want to go there anymore. We're family, we did what we had to do, saved the world, and we're back together again. We're going to be fine, and luckily we have a physic on our team to let us know when we're going to screw up, so we won't actually screw up and get screwed ... " Dean paused, "or some shit like that. Hell, let's just go gank some monster's!"

**- I'm very ****narcissistic so ********p**lease review -  



	3. Pink is the New Black

**A/N:** I've made some last minuet changes to this chapter (sorry it's taken me so long for updates) that I don't think affect the previous chapters, however if you find any inconsistencies let me know and I will change it up a bit.

* * *

**Pink is the new Black**

* * *

Nikki knew the guys were feeling a bit awkward with taking her on the road with them. To be honest she was having some reservations about it as well. Sleeping in the same bed with Sam was helping him, but killing her. She'd never been in a situation like this before - completely and hopelessly attracted to the person she was supposed to be helping. And though she had told them more or less the truth about herself, she had definitely not been forthcoming with all her secrets.

Using her psychic ability, she scanned the premises to ensure no one would interrupt her. The guys were all outside huddled around Dean's black car, drinking beer and discussing monsters. _Perfect, she thought. _Relaxing her mind, she let out a low whistle. A woofing sound and light scratches on the floor signaled her companion had been successfully summoned. She bent down, patted what seemed to be air, and then whispered "Illuminati".

The black hellhound was massive in appearance; it looked like a cross between a wolf's head and an adult lion's body, with fangs that prominently showed like an extinct Saber Tooth cat. Its black eyes gave off a luminescent type quality that made them "glow". The hellhound dropped to the floor with a loud thump, knocking over a lamp from the bedside table. Nervously she scanned the house once again to ensure no one had heard and righted the fallen object. The men were still outside, congregated around the car, so she squatted down, and patted the dogs head.

"Hey there boy, did you miss me?" she whispered. He ducked his head, did a belly crawl over to her out-stretched hand, and made a whining sound. She scratched his ears and stroked his soft fur.

"I need to borrow your eyes baby, do you mind?" The hellhound gave off a low rumble and curled up at her feet, _ostensibly_ to take a nap. She touched its forehead briefly and then turned to the mirror on the dresser. Black, demonic eyes stared back at her and for a second, and she cringed.

_Yep, I bet this would be a deal breaker huh? Oh no Sam, I'm not demonic per se, just borrowing my demonic dog's eye sight so I can do a little busy work, you know, nothing major. _She thought bitterly as she moved around the room gathering her things.

She took out a padded black case from her duffel bag and unzipped her small little net book. Opening it up and hacking into to Bobby's wifi network, she immediately set to work documenting everything that had happened over the last few weeks since she'd been with the Winchesters. She always kept files on the people she helped, how she had been directed to them, what they had experienced, and how she had resolved the issue. Sam's case was on going so she scanned her other files on people that she continued to stay in touch with to double check on how they were doing. After sending out a few emails and checking her bank account, she brought out her IPod and hooked it up to her computer. Laying it all on her cot, she walked into the bathroom refilled her water bottle.

The hellhound lifted its head and gave another low rumble, Nikki tensed and scanned the house, and sure enough, Bobby had come inside and was headed her way. Cursing she quickly shoved the computer under a pillow and tapped her dog's head, whispering a quick "Illuminati!" and he disappeared. "Stay quiet, Diablo, please!" She begged as Bobby opened the door to her room and poked his head in at her.

"Hey, we were just discussing running into town to grab a bite to eat, you game? The boys want to make sure you have enough gear when they head out." Nikki smiled and nodded her back to Bobby so that he wouldn't see her eyes.

"Sure that sounds great, just give me a second and I'll be right out." Bobby nodded, and then frowned.

"Damn, girl, you need to make Sam wash his clothes. It smells like wet dog and sulfur in here!" Nikki's eyes widened and she gave off a nervous little laugh.

"I'll do that." Bobby, still frowning at her back, nodded, and closed the door. Nikki let loose a frightened sigh and reached down to pat the hellhounds head once again.

"Sorry Di, I have to go." She grabbed her laptop out from under the pillow; made sure her work was saved, and ejected the IPod. Stowing it all away in her bag she quickly did a once over of her appearance, gave Diablo another hug and exchanged eyesight. Another low whistle and the dog was gone.

Just how she had come across the devil dog she didn't actually remember, but Diablo had been her constant companion since she was sixteen. She'd ran off from the state run hospital that had taken her in when foster care had declined her due to her "unusual" characteristics. Apparently, none of the many foster parents she had went through liked having a clairvoyant living in their household. Which was fine with her, but unfortunately she didn't like the hospital either so she had decided one day that she would leave. She had tapped the sight of dying woman a few doors down from her and taken off running. Somewhere during her flight for freedom that night, the woman had died and she'd lost her sight once again. Terrified and alone she'd fallen asleep on the cold ground, knowing death would be close at hand. She'd woke up with a cold nose pressed against her face, under a bridge, covered in a blanket, with $50 and credit card with instructions to active it so her money would be deposited every month.

She wasn't sure why she'd been given a hellhound but Di had come in handy in more situations than she can count. He'd been her saving grace and she rarely thought of the fact that he was a hellhound, a devil dog that, at one time, had drug Dean to hell and likely countless other poor bastards too. Snapping out of her reverie, she extended her cane and tapped her way down the hall. Sam was waiting for her and she took his offered arm, sliding in to the backseat of the Impala.

* * *

The trip into town didn't take long. They ate quickly, and then hit a few stores where she picked up more jeans, shirts, boots and a couple pairs of sturdy gloves. The funniest part of the day was when they had all stood outside of the Victoria's Secret shop where she had a sales woman help her purchase a few extra personal items. Dean couldn't help himself and teasing Sam was the delight of the moment.

"Dude, seriously, shut the hell up!" Sam exclaimed. Dean snickered.

"What? I just figured since you're bunking with her you'd like to know the answer: Crotchless or Granny? I have an excellent view of Nurse Hottie in there and I have to say man... if she was cuddling with me they'd definitely be ... Ooof!" Dean almost went down on one knee when Bobby looked back him, and now had both hands on his hips, taking slow breaths. Bobby snorted.

"Real mature, I almost think you guys are going to need a babysitter when you head out." He shook his head disgustedly and sat down on a bench.

Nikki was actually having fun. The guys had walked her in to the store, seized a sales clerk, and quickly told her to get whatever Nikki said she needed, and just as fast ran from the store like a hellhound was their tail. So far, she had picked up a pink duffle bag that the sales clerk had begun dropping Nikki's purchases into. Several bras, underwear, pajama bottoms and tops, t-shirts, shorts, socks, flip-flops, and sparkly tennis shoes that said "Pink" on the side later, Nikki felt she had been in the fitting room for hours trying it all on.

"So how do they look?" she asked. The sales clerk and a few other women squealed with delight.

"You're with the three hot perfect examples of manhood outside the store right?" someone asked. Nikki nodded and laughed.

"Yeah, I am." Everyone giggled.

"Those are great everyday undies sweetie but you really need to try this on ..." And for another hour, the women convinced her to try on several other more "racy and lacey" items of which a few apparently found their way into the bag.

"So, that seems to be everything you'll need ..." Nikki paused for a second.

"Are they still outside?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Do you sell ... um ... I don't know ..." The sales clerk smiled.

"Perfume, make-up that sort of thing?" Nikki nodded.

"I just don't need a lot but do you think you can find something that would look ok? Maybe some lipstick or something?" She was blushing and the sales woman smiled.

"Stay here ... I'll be right back." She came back with several samples of perfume and make-up compacts and with the help of the other women Nikki was able to expertly apply the cosmetics without being able to see herself and still look great. Confident that she had everything she needed, she checked out and headed out of the store, a chorus of feminine sighs echoing behind them as Nikki and the guys headed towards the Impala.

"Nice duffel bag." Dean said, eyeballing it like it was bad fish. Sam grabbed it and shoved it in the trunk, tossing his brother a dirty look.

"Thank you, the ladies said it was bigger and would hold all my stuff. It's not too much for the trunk space is it?" She asked nervously. Bobby snickered and patted Dean on the back, who was still looking at the pink duffel bag stuffed in between him and Sam's green army duffels like it was going to jump out and bite him.

"Uhhh .. no its .. fine." He bit out a grumpily. Sam rolled his eyes and shut the trunk, hoping that the bag would still be in one piece the next morning when they planned to head out.

* * *

Once they had unloaded all of Nikki's stuff and got it into the house the guys left her alone to pack and rest. Meanwhile Sam and Bobby were making notes of possible cases that might involve either rogue angels or some of the lost weapons that Cas badly needed to get back in to Heaven. Dean had taken off to try to find a cell phone that Nikki could use without much difficulty, leaving her to herself in the room she shared with Sam.

She took her time packing, making sure that her laptop and other "extra" purchases were tucked away where no one would find them. Sighing to herself and wishing she could see, she considered summoning Diablo, but there were too many people in the house. She left out a pair of jeans, socks, her new boots, and the soft new pair of underwear and bra that she'd picked up today and set them aside on the cot. Then laying out a pair of pajama bottoms and matching shirt, which she secretly hoped Sam would like on her, she made one last check of the room to make sure she'd only left out what she would need for a quick shower in the morning. Hearing the Impala's engine roar into the drive she headed to the living room to check Dean's progress on getting her a cell phone.

"Hey, check this out!" He produced an Iphone loaded with voice over technology and all the preset contacts that she would need. After a few hours of playing with it and setting the ring tones to something she would remember for each of their numbers, Dean produced a lanyard and case that hung over her neck to hold her phone in.

"Pink, to match all the other things you got today." Nikki smiled, opened her mouth to thank them, then a look of horror washed over her face. Dean's eyes widened.

"What?" Sam and Bobby looked up concerned when they saw the look on her face too.

"Pink? Everything was Pink?" She asked, eyes wide.

"Well, yeah ... uhh ... I figured ..." She was shaking her head.

"EVERYTHING ... was pink Dean?" Dean looked confused.

"Pretty much everything ..."

"Pretty much everything isn't everything ... it's ALMOST everything ... so which is it?" Dean took two steps back, the look on her face starting to worry him. He glanced at Sam and Bobby for help and got nothing but shrugs.

"Well, all the stuff from the underwear store was ... uhh ... pink ... " he said, almost stuttering the word, which made Nikki's face turn a bright shade of red.

"Oh no ..." she groaned and put a hand on her forehead.

"Nikki, what's wrong?" They all asked in unison.

"They were supposed to be a neutral color; you can't wear white t-shirts with pink ... under things ... under them!" The guys laughed, relaxing immediately.

"Sure you can, besides, your blind, it'll be hot ..." Nikki's hand shot out and landed a punch dead center in the middle of Dean's chest that made Sam and Bobby cringe.

"If you would have followed my advice and called Lisa by now I wouldn't have this problem you pig headed jerk!" She huffed. Dean rubbed his chest.

"Where'd you learn to hit like that?" He asked her, clearly as impressed as everyone else who was watching. Nikki sighed and made a face that clearly stated what intellectual level she thought Dean ranked.

"I'm on the road alone, ALOT, Dean. I've taken kick boxing classes since I was sixteen. I may not be able to see, but there's nothing wrong with my hearing. I can handle myself in a fight, just don't hand me a gun though, tried lessons and was pretty much kicked off the firing range." She joked. Dean looked at Sam, who raised his eyebrows.

"Can you use a knife?" She nodded.

"A knife and all kinds of throwing weapons, my instructor wanted to make sure that I was certified in everything that I could safely use to defend myself with. Too bad that didn't include something to protect myself from evil saleswomen who take advantage of the blind ..." she stated angrily.

Dean stood up, considered her for a second, then whipped out a knife and instantly came at Nikki. In a blur, Nikki dodged sideways as Dean lunged towards her, grabbed his wrist and twisted hard sending the knife flying from his grip, an elbow to the kidney and knee to the gut and a sweep of her feet to the backs of his knees and Dean was on the floor panting, face down, and one arm twisted painfully behind him. Nikki let go and stepped back, hands up defensively.

"Like I said Dean, I may be blind but I can handle this. I promise I'm good for more than just the obvious stuff." Sam, who had been pacing nervously beside Bobby and watching Dean with a look that screamed he'd thought his brother had lost his mind, immediately stepped between the two.

"Outside now!" His voice commanding, he reached out, grabbed a handful of Dean's jacket, and all but drug him out the door. Off the porch and nose to nose, Dean realized he'd set his brother off and backed up a step or two to make sure he was well out of Sam's mammoth reach.

"Calm down Sam, I would never have hurt her." Dean said calmly, watching a myriad of emotions cross Sam's face, least of which was anger, and Dean knew just how quickly that could turn to a deadly, blinding rage with Sam.

"What the fuck was that Dean? You came at her with a KNIFE! Are you insane?" Dean shook his head and held his hands up, keeping a careful eye on Sam.

"Dude, she kicked my ass. I needed to know she wasn't talking about some dance class she'd taken. When we go off and leave her alone in a room or the car I don't want to have to worry that some sick bastard will come in on her or worse some demon spawn sick bastard." That brought Sam up short and he looked at Dean seriously.

"Shit ..." he shook his head furiously, "... all this time I've only thought of myself and not how we'd keep her safe while we were out on a job." He looked more level headed so Dean relaxed a bit and nodded, running a hand over his face for second.

"So, she can definitely defend herself but you know what she needs Sam ..." Sam nodded.

"Anti-Possession tattoo, an angel-sword, and white bras?" Dean nodded, and they started to walk back into the house, but stopped short of the door and raised a hand to Sam, stopping the taller brother.

"White bras?" Sam rolled his eyes as Dean snickered.

"She's right, call Lisa, for my sake if for nothing else, 'cause you're going to drive me insane!" Sam muttered.

* * *

_ Ok, _Sam thought to himself as they all started to wind down and head towards their respectful rooms for the night_; I am NOT going to think about her underwear, nor the color of said underwear. I will recite the dictionary, alphabet, law - whatever I need to do to keep my mind firmly away from sexy pink lace bra's with matching lace underwear that may or may not involve accessible holes in private area's and Dean's damn commentary on crotchless underwear versus just no underwear at all._ Sam's intentions held out just long enough to see Nikki drying her hair with a towel in a pair of pajama bottoms with "PINK" embellished on back of them. She was leaning over twisting the towel around her hair and the front of her tight camisole was gapping open so he had an excellent view down her shirt. When she straightened up the thin fabric was pulled tight across the most perfect set of breasts Sam had ever seen and he just about lost control right there.

"Oh, hey, I was just about finished in here if you're ready for a shower." She stated brightly, ducking back in to hang the wet towel up before she quietly walked over to the bed and sat down brushing out her hair.

"Uhh ... yeah ..."he stuttered. He grabbed some clothes from his bag and headed to the bathroom.

Letting the warm spray from the shower wash over him, he let loose a long deep sigh. Sam couldn't even remember the last time he had been so attracted to someone. Jessica had been his martyred vision of what could have been and stoked the fire of revenge for a life lost for so long, and he'd used that fuel to hunt. Now, with his rage tightly contained to a more manageable level, he thought back on his relationship and could clearly see the holes that had permeated his time with her. The primary thing he realized that had been missing was the passion, something he had painfully discovered with Madison, the were-wolf he'd mistakenly thought he could save.

But now, with Nikki, he was terrified that what he'd missed in both his previous relationships would be found with her. A chilling thought, since every woman he'd ever loved had died a horrible death. He didn't think that he could handle loosing Nikki, and not just because she kept him sane. _My god, less than a month ago I didn't even have a life, and now that I do it's just as messed up as it always is, he thought ruefully. _Sam stepped out of the shower and dried off. Slipping on his clothes, he brushed his teeth and towel dried his hair. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. Noticeable lines around his eyes and mouth stood out starkly in the poor lighting of the bathroom mirror. _Less than a month with her and here, I am making myself believe that I'm in love. Dean would have a hay day. _He rolled his eyes at himself in the mirror. _What am I thinking; Dean's going to have a hay day with this no matter what._ He chuckled sarcastically to himself, then slipped out of the bathroom, put his clothes in his duffel, and climbed into bed.

Nikki was running her hand over a book she had opened and so Sam casually slid an arm under her pillow and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Interesting book." They both chuckled.

"It's the Bible." Nikki stated, eliciting a mildly shocked look from Sam.

"Really? You read it often?" He asked. She nodded.

"I don't get my hands on many brail books, so I carry this around for when I want to read something." She twisted a bit more towards Sam and took his hand.

"Run your fingers lightly over the pages." Sam did so, feeling the ridges.

"I can't believe that you can read those." She smiled, her head was on his chest, her breath gently warming his skin.

They lay exactly like that for a while, Sam's even breathing letting her know he'd fallen asleep behind her. She gently moved to place the book on the cot and suddenly Sam's body seemed to fold in on itself, going rigid, and a harsh cry ripped from his throat. She attempted to place her hands on him but his flailing arms sent her reeling across the room. Dean was immediately at Sam's side, yelling for him to calm down, and trying valiantly to pin his brother's arms before he could hurt himself. Meanwhile, Bobby was helping Nikki off the floor, who was desperately reaching for Sam.

"Sam! Sam, calm down ... Ahhh... Nikki you got him?" Dean asked desperately, blood coming from Sam's ears now.

Nikki nodded as she slid her legs around Sam and brought him back against her, resting her body and his weight against the headboard. She wrapped one arm around Sam's chest and the other cradled his head. Rocking back and forth, slowly trying to bring Sam back to this reality, she was immediately hit with a vision. She gasped at the images filling her mind and immediately knew they were coming from Sam's time in hell. She'd already dealt with some of these before but this time it was as if they were being sent to Sam and meant for her to see. She gasped and let go of Sam, swinging him around to her.

"Sam, wake up NOW!" She cried and Sam immediately opened his eyes, his attack over. Dean and Bobby looked at Nikki horrified.

"This was different wasn't it? I can't remember anything but I know it was different. What happened?" Sam asked, trying to push his sore body against the pillows. Nikki, who was frozen in place on the bed, mouth open in shock, ducked her head, shaking like a leaf.

"Nikki, what's wrong? What did you see?" Dean asked concerned, frowning at Bobby who stood by her on the other side of the bed.

"Nikki?" Bobby hesitantly reached a hand out to her; she instantly jerked away and shook her head, raising an arm up as if to ward off some attack. For a tense moment, all three stared at her, Bobby finally breaking the silence.

"Maybe you guys should put off leaving in the morning ..."he stated, Nikki who was still in a state of shock nodded.

"Yes, we should, because I need to speak with your angel friend. Immediately." She looked up and Sam instantly read the stark terror in her face, her softly accented voice so filled with pain.

"Dean, "he whispered raggedly, pulling Nikki's stiff body on to his chest and stoking her hair, "call Cas. I don't know what happened but that had nothing to do with my head. It was like something was trying to take possession over me."

"Cas, if you can hear me, we need an angel intervention, like RIGHT now." Dean said. Nothing. "C'mon Cas dammit, we need some help here, something is ..."

"I am aware of your situation Dean, I simply do not know what it is that I can do to help you at this time." Castiel said behind Dean in a very agitated voice.

"Seriously, that's all you have? Something is trying to take over Sam's body, it affected Nikki, and all you can say 'Oh, that sucks?' Really Cas?" Dean yelled. Castiel glared angrily at Dean.

"I am in the middle of an all out war Dean, I have stepped away from my duty countless times to come down here to 'intervene' for you. I realize you are having trouble, but some appreciation for what I am going through would be nice here!" He yelled back. Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"You're right, I'm sorry Cas, that was unfair of me, but dammit man I just got him back .. "he whispered raggedly.

"Stop ..." came Nikki's soft reply, "I asked for Dean to contact you. I know what's going on with the souls, or at least some of what is going on with them." That brought all three faces to bear on Nikki's pale one, still buried in Sam's chest. She disengaged herself from his arms and swiveled her head towards Dean's voice.

"It's horrible," she whispered brokenly," they are making deals for the Guff." Cas was floored, so stunned that he actually wobbled and had to put a hand on the wall to steady himself. Bobby leaped into action.

"The Guff? What is it?" he asked. Cas looked at him strangely, almost looking through him.

"That's impossible, your information is incorrect." Nikki shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I wish it were so ... but my information comes from one who would know." She stood up, Bobby offering his arm.

"We should continue this in the living room, there will be more room."

* * *

Nikki sat on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, Sam holding her comfortingly. She had no clue, no vision on how this conversation was going to play out and it scared her. She knew it was time to let them know about Diablo and the rest of her powers but she didn't want to lose the fragile relationships she had developed with Sam and his family. But it was the time for truth, especially now.

"I want you to know that I had no intention of lying to any of you." She squeezed Sam's hand.

"Lying about what?" he asked, frowning.

"This." She said, and let out her low whistle summoning Diablo.

"Hellhound! You're traveling friend was a hellhound!" Sam yelled, behind the dog she could hear Bobby cocking a shotgun full of rock salt.

"Please, his name is Diablo and he won't harm you. He's protected me for years while we were on the road together!" She yelled, clutching the massive animal to her, Sam backed slowly away from its wagging tail, which felt like he was getting hit with a baseball club.

"Uhhh, Nikki, it's a Hellhound. A real one, in case you didn't know, maybe you should just back away slowly ..." he said, reaching under the desk to grab the demon killing knife. The dog slowly bared its teeth at him, a lot of teeth, a low rumble coming from his throat, then promptly rolled over on its back and produced its belly to him. A low grunting, almost hissing sound coming from its mouth, _Almost like the damn thing is laughing at me, _Sam thought looking towards Dean who had a mixed look of horror and disgust on his face.

"Is it laughing at you Sam?" he asked, turning quickly to look at Bobby who sighed.

"Balls, that was the wet dog and sulfur smell in your room the other day wasn't it?" he asked angrily.

"Yes." she said quietly.

"That's why you couldn't look at me, because you were lying to me! In my own house." Nikki shook her head.

"No," she said almost inaudibly,"it was because of this." She reached her hand out and tapped Diablo's head. His eyes immediately went from demonic black to her colorless white. Sam gasped and shook his head, as she looked at him for the first time head on.

"No." he stated, shaking his head, almost nauseous at the tearful demonic eyes staring at him.

"You're ..." he stuttered. Dean flicked the safety off his pistol, but Castiel grabbed his wrist before he could raise it and aim it at her.

"She is not a demon, she is merely borrowing the hellhound's sight to use as her own." he stated flatly as Nikki swung her eyes to him. "I know who you are ..." Nikki nodded.

"It's the one power your brother didn't know I had, that I could still see if I had a willing donor. I never keep anyone's sight, I just use it. Over the years it's been easy to borrow Di's, I use sunglasses to hide them though." She looked back at Dean, Sam, and Bobby,"I knew that if I showed you this you would be scared of me, but I had no choice. You have to know what is going on and that I'm telling you the truth!" she exclaimed.

Standing she went to Bobby's desk and found the Talmud, a Jewish interpretation of the Torah. Flipping through the pages, she found the entry on the Guff and walked over to Cas showing it to him.

"Here, this is what they want. I know because the information that I've been getting from Di when he comes to me is almost the same as what I caught from Sam this afternoon. Your brother, Raphael, will soon enter in to negations with Hell in order to jump start, once again, the apocalypse."Suddenly she whipped around and glared straight at Sam and exclaimed, "CRISTO! God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, give me salt or holy water, just please stop projecting stupid thoughts of me and RUBY, Sam Winchester!" She yelled furiously at him, angrily slamming the book at Cas and walking over to Bobby's desk. She emptied a vial of salt into a glass jar of holy water and drank half the glass, choking on the salt and grimacing.

"Oh, this is just bloody awful, no wonder demons can't handle it. I don't know what breathing organism could. Eck .." she said, wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt. They all stared at her for a moment, then down at Sam.

"You compared your girlfriend to Ruby? Dude, you're never gonna get laid now." Dean sighed dramatically and hugged Nikki.

"Ok, rule number one - no demonic dogs in the house, motel room, or my car got it?" Nikki nodded, a bit shaken.

"Rule number two - no demonic eye swapping without notice because you're setting off all kinds of alarm bells sweetheart and that ain't good around trigger happy hunters." He shivered for effect and Nikki gave a nervous laugh and nodded. Sam got up and hugged her.

"Eye's are no big deal, I'm kinda used to them," he leaned to whisper in her ear, "not in bed ok? Really not good there". She laughed and hugged him.

"I'm sorry Sam." He kissed the top of her head and rolled his eyes when Dean produced a pair of sunglasses for her.

"Dude, creepy ok?" Sam nudged his brother, giving him a bitchface.

"So what is the Guff?" Bobby asked, looking at Castiel.

"It holds the souls of the unborn." He whispered brokenly, looking at Nikki.

"You are sure of this? Tell me all you know." He asked her.

"From what I've seen so far, and I've done my best to track into the future as far as I can. However, angels are so much more cosmically attuned that it's hard for me to do so without being detected. I'm already hunted for one power, I'm terrified if they knew the extent of the rest that I can do." Cas looked at her closely. For the first time Nikki feared she'd made a mistake trusting Castiel. She moved in closer to Sam, who frowned at Cas.

"Cas?" He asked questioningly.

"She is not a vessel, but the power she wields is close to one. Continue please." He commented.

"So I followed the visions, I couldn't make out who they were coming from but I did encounter demons and angels sitting around what seemed to be a conference table and they were shaking hands. Two words came instantly to my mind, Guff and Purgatory. I know what they both want, control and souls. If Hell got control of the Guff they would use the unborn souls for their own purposes," she shivered in Sam's arms, "and once they'd emptied the Guff then ..." she stopped there unable to go on, tears choking her.

"What happens if the 'Guff' is emptied Cas?" Cas shook his head in disbelief.

"When last soul is born, and the Guff is empty, that is when the Messiah will return." Bobby read aloud from the book Nikki had shoved at Cas, the looked up. "It's a set up for another apocalypse."

"The Guff is also known as the Hall of Souls." Cas sat heavily on the couch and put his head in his hands.

"Ok, so aside from horrifying thoughts of what demons would do to the souls in the Guff, what ties them to Purgatory?" Bobby asked, almost not wanting to ask.

"It takes a one pure soul to drag one un-pure soul from Purgatory." Castiel stated. He walked to a window and looked up into the sky. "I thought to save them, to change their minds, remind them of Father's love for them and his love for humans. I wanted to show them how brother's can be close to each other like I have learned from you two. I never thought it would go this far, something as sacrilegious and vile as corrupting a pure unborn soul ... to toss it into ..."Cas looked dejectedly, almost brokenly at Dean and Sam. Sam let go of Nikki and looked sadly at Castiel.

"Cas, we'll figure something out, we always do." Dean nodded.

"You're brothers are douche bags man, but if there's any way we can stop this from happening you know we've got your back." Cas looked at his friends and was grateful for the time he'd spent as a human.

"I just hope we can stop this in enough time." Cas said frowning. Dean twisted his head, fixing Cas with a look.

"You don't mean time as in before saving the world do you? What else is going on Cas?" The Archangel turned from the window and looked at Dean and then Sam.

"The more heinous crimes Raphael and his army commit the more corrupt they become. The last thing we want is for this deal to be made. If it does, it will be the final act and we will be facing an multitude of Archangels just like Lucifer."

The room was silent, horror on everyone's face, most especially Sam's. Dean finally spoke up.

"Let's get to work on this, I have a feeling that our other cosmic junk food buddy may very well pop over to hear our latest psychic news bulletin and I really want to have this pulled together before he does." Dean stated gruffly.

* * *

**A/N: I was having alot of fun writing this story till I screwed up and wrote the ending one day for it. Since then I just can't seem to fill in the middle to where it comes out the way I wanted!** I'm working on another story so updates will come ... they will just be slow.


	4. And Then There Was Pie

**And then there was pie ...**

* * *

"Not that I'm trying to be the downer of the group or anything but, where does purgatory fit in to all of this? I mean we have lost souls," Bobby stated pointing to Sam, "lost heavenly weapons, rogue angels, an unusually quite hell, and bizarre monster behavior. What ties purgatory to all of this?"

Dean glanced up from the pile of books and papers he was going through and looked around the room, his gaze briefly landing on Diablo who had gotten a reprieve of sorts. The hellhound was currently curled around Nikki who was sitting cross-legged on the floor hands resting in the creases of two books she was "scanning" psychically trying to get a glimpse of some foretelling vision to help them out. He had been watching the two of them on and off, despite the angry bitchfaces he was getting from Sam, the demon slaying knife firmly gripped in one hand. Nikki would simply smile, and do what Dean could only suspect was a demonic eye roll judging from her face, and continue scanning old books for clues.

"If we knew that Bobby, we'd be ganking some fugly instead of sitting here waiting on Woofinstein over there to drag us all to hell when we pass out from boredom." Sam chuckled and looked over at Nikki and Diablo, who promptly raised its head and showed a gleaming set of wickedly sharp teeth and then, to Dean's complete and utter bemusement, winked at him.

"Nikki," Dean asked her using his most innocent look, "Is Diablo neutered?" He twisted the knife in his hand and raised an eyebrow, taunting the blind hellhound. Diablo's answering coughing hiss, what they had all decided was his 'laugh', wiped the smug look off Dean's face. Very deliberately Diablo started to rise and lift his hind leg to give Dean a better view when Nikki's arm whipped out and made a resounding "smack" upside the dog's head. He snorted and sat back down on the floor.

"Heh ..." Dean cackled, but was cut off as he met the angry stare of black eyes.

"He is not, neither are you ... both can be remedied shortly." Bobby and Sam both laughed as the Dean and the dog stared in horror and hunkered down in a protective scrunch.

"Ok, back to Bobby's question ... all I have so far is some 700 year old script talking about dragons and virgins with an obscure reference to ..." Diablo let out a rumble and nudged Nikki's leg with his head. She paused what she was doing and reached out to touch his head.

"That's it!" She cried and reached for the book that Dean had been reading. "Dragons ... "she whispered as she read the text, "are as old as time itself. Diablo says that there has been some discussion in the lower ranks about a push to find the 'reluctant lizards'. I bet that's what they were talking about." Bobby perked up and began rifling through stacks of papers looking for his cell phone.

"Perfect, I happen to have a contact that might be able to help us out." Dean blinked at him.

"Seriously?" Bobby looked at Dean, a frown on his face.

"What, you doubt my skills boy?" Dean chuckled and shook his head. He stared at Sam as Bobby left the room.

"Dragons and virgins? This job is getting hokier the older we get you know it?" Dean commented as he lounged back in the chair and filled an empty glass with whiskey. Sam smiled wanly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Finding a dragon will be about as difficult as finding a virgin." Sam commented dryly as he stood and took the offered cup from Dean who was busy locating another empty cup for himself. Neither one noticed the uncomfortable expression on Nikki's face till they heard her whispering in a hushed tone and Diablo's ears laid back with growl.

"Hey, if he's going rabid I have a solution for it ... " Dean offered hopefully. The hound merely ignored him and once again nudged Nikki's leg.

"What's he so upset over?" Sam asked frowning coming closer to Nikki whose face was bright red.

"Nothing ..." Another nudge and Nikki pushed him back. "I said NOTHING Di ..." Dean's glass hit the table and he nearly spewed the contents of the whiskey. Sam's eyes were wide with shock and his mouth fell open.

"Oh my god, you're a ..."

"We need a virgin to draw out the dragons ... " Bobby said as he walked back in the room. Noting their faces he frowned at them. "What'd I miss?"

"We have a virgin right here." Nikki sighed, groaning inwardly.

* * *

Later that evening Sam stood at the door watching Nikki and Diablo. He'd decided not to push her on the virginity subject till she was willing to talk to him about it, though that definitely fulfilled a sick fantasy in his head that he sure hoped she never got a glimpse of. She was sitting on the steps using telekinesis to toss a huge tractor tire up in the air. The Hellhound would chase after it and rip it to shreds, then Nikki would piece it back together and toss it. He came onto the porch and sat down next to her. Her delighted giggles confused him though, since he knew she couldn't the see the fun the dog was having.

"How do you do that if you can't see him?" Sam asked. Nikki smiled.

"I've been with Di so long we're able to send images to each other pretty easily. He's projecting them to me so I can see how much fun he's having." She dangled the tire above Di's head and laughed as the dog growled and barked at it. Sam shook his head.

"That's amazing. So you're seeing what he's doing just by him projecting the images into your mind?" She nodded.

"Yes, I can show you how to do it. It would be easy for you, you still have latent talents left over from all the demon blood in your system." Sam frowned at that.

"It's not something that will just go away Sam." Nikki reached out and found his hand. He squeezed her's back and she smiled. "The less you use those powers the better, the less susceptible you are to their control. Nevertheless, some thing's come natural to us all, kind of like when you hug someone and you can 'feel' the love. You simply focus on the feeling or the image and then push it towards the person you want to receive it. With your latent power and strong mind you'll be a natural in no time." Diablo suddenly let out a mournful howl and Dean was immediately on the front porch with his shotgun at the ready. Sam had even jumped at the sound and had the demon killing knife raised to attack. Nikki sighed. Di howled once again and disappeared. They both looked at her as she stood and extended her cane.

"We all have our parts to play in the cycle of life and death. Hellhounds are part of that natural order as well." She tapped her way around the brother's and silently went back inside. Dean stood staring off in the distance for a moment, then felt his brother's hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and was caught in Sam's direct stare.

"I'm really glad you're my brother." Dean's eye's widened for a second, almost misting over.

"Dean!" Nikki yelled from inside. "You're pie is ready!" Dean's heart was filled with joy, a huge grin spread across his face. He met Sam's smile, whose eye's were twinkling, and chuckled.

"You better start putting the moves on her soon or I may have to step in and marry her ... she made me pie!" They both laughed and walked back into the house.


	5. Missed you MoJO

**Missed you Mo-JO**

* * *

Nikki snuck back out onto the porch later that night and took off her gloves. Diablo sat on the ground at her feet and rested his huge head in her lap as she drew in a deep breath and then placed her hands on each side of his enormous head. Slowly searching through Diablo's brief visits in hell for information she stumbled across a curious exchange between two higher level demons.

'_The gates are weakening. With or without Purgatory he's confident that we'll have enough power to break through so long as the pact holds.' _

_Another voice answers, 'I still think as a backup we should continue efforts to gain access to Purgatory. The Winchester's are formidable enemies ... even with what he has in store they always seem to lay to waste our careful plans.' The voices faded as the demons moved farther into hell and away from the hell hound._

Nikki patted the dog's head who sat up on his hind legs and regarded her curiously. She sighed.

"Anyway you can get back in and try to find out what the rest of those plans are? It would be greatly appreciated my friend." Diablo 'woofed' once and disappeared.

She stood and carefully made her way back in to the house, pulling on one glove with her teeth as she tapped her cane along the floor. Just as she managed to get inside and partially down the hallway towards the kitchen, Dean came around the corner and bumped into her. She was knocked off balance and he reached out to her, accidentally grabbing her hand.

They both gasped as they were bombarded with visions, some painful, some just downright scary. Dean let go instantly, slamming back against the wall as Nikki threw out a hand to stabilize herself, face a bit pale, but pulling on her last glove quickly.

"What the hell was that?" he exclaimed looking at her with wide eyes.

She smiled softly, though she was just as shaken. "I do apologize Dean, that's what happens when I'm not paying attention." Her softly accented voice flowed over him in soothing tones. He shook the effect off and scowled at her.

"No, I mean what was it that I saw?" Her brow wrinkled in a slight frown.

"You've been searching for souls but haven't actually seen one before? I thought you got Sam's soul back?" Dean shook his head.

"Those were souls? I thought they were bright balls of light, like Sam's!" She laughed.

"That's the physical manifestation of a soul. On the whole, they look exactly as you do but a bit more ..." she paused and frowned, "... a bit more ethereal?" Dean had another thought.

"Why was Sam's so much brighter than ours?"

"I haven't figured that out yet Dean. Nevertheless, it is beautiful isn't it? He thinks it's so destroyed, heard so many people tell him how 'mutilated' it is. But neither of you realize the beauty in your selves therefore it's no wonder you'd never recognize the beauty in your own souls." Her voice drifted off sadly, as she reached out and gently touched Dean's face. He looked at her for a moment, the scars around her eyes seemed to glow eerily this close to him. "Dean, you did the right thing by Lisa and Ben you do know that don't you?" He sucked in a deep breath then slowly nodded. He escorted her to the table in the kitchen and handed her a glass of cool lemonade and opened himself a beer. Glancing into the study where Sam and Bobby were hard at work, he sat down at the table and began the conversation he'd been wanting to have.

"Will they be OK?" he asked quietly.

"Ben and Lisa deserve to be happy, and because of you they will be. Though, I want you to know that Ben will be a hunter one day." Dean's eye's shot up.

"No!" She shook her head.

"Yes, he will be. It's not something Lisa will like of course, but he will be a hunter. You and Sam will train him." Dean rocked back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Then everything I did, leaving them, was for nothing?" He cocked an angry brow at her. She shook her head.

"His path was planned the day you walked back in their lives and rescued him and those children Dean. He will have help, he will not go into this life alone. You and Sam will be there to teach him, train him, and he will have his own guardian angle to watch over him as well, just like Castiel has done for you." Dean snorted at that but let it go.

"What about Lisa?"

"She's going to marry the doctor." Dean's heart squeezed a bit at that as he felt Nikki's hand close over his.

"Dean ... " she frowned, unsure how to approach relationship advice to him. He was a hardened fighter, who thought that love held no place in his life, save Sam who was family. "You should know that soon, someone will come back to save you." Dean frowned.

"What do you mean?" Nikki huffed.

"I wish I could tell you more but the vision wasn't clear. There was a lot of pain, I'm not sure if it was yours or not, but they will come back for you." He shook his head confused.

"Back from where?" Nikki once again shook her head.

"I'm sorry I don't know for sure. Again the information isn't clear enough for me to be exact. I just know that you have a soulmate Dean and she will come and save you. I wish I could tell you more."

As if talking to Nikki about his guilt over Lisa and Ben wasn't bad enough and then hearing the shocking realization that Ben was destined to be a hunter, now he had to contend with some new woman coming into his life to rescue him? Him? No way, he's awesome, he's a Winchester and chic's don't rescue Winchester's. He let the subject drop.

"So, Sammy has a bright soul. You're right, it was impressive. But what can I say, we Winchester's are pretty well endowed, am I right?" Nikki laughed and shook her head.

"I don't kiss and tell Dean ... "she winked at him just as Bobby walked in to the kitchen.

"You going to sit on your ass all night in here flirting your brother's girlfriend or you gonna get in there and help us figure out this Dragon crap?" he grumbled. Dean sighed.

"Nikki's more interesting and doesn't smell like old news print." Bobby chuckled as he leaned against the counter.

"So what interesting bits of conversation have you two been having?" Sam walked in and took a seat next to Nikki who smiled.

"Dean was commenting on how well endowed the Winchester's are." Dean thought Sam's face was going to explode. Bobby immediately began making choking sounds, which curiously looked like the older hunter was either laughing for having a seizure. Either way Dean knew he'd better correct her fast before Samsaqutch turned him into a pretzel.

"Dude, it was innocent," Sam cocked his head towards Dean and shot him 'I'm going to kill you' bitchface, "Seriously! I bumped into her in the hall without her gloves on and got a glimpse of your soul. It's putting off enough light that planets are starting to circle it!" Sam frowned.

"What?" He looked at Dean like he'd lost his mind.

"It's ok Sam, she thinks' it hot ..." Sam's chair scraped along the floor as he stood up. Dean hesitated for a moment, eye's wide, but just as he thought his little brother was fixing to shove his way to large foot straight up his ass, Sam grabbed Nikki's arm and helped her to her feet.

"Nikki and I are going to bed." Nikki tried her best not to laugh at the two men as she took Sam's hand.

"Just out of curiosity, why can you touch Sam with no gloves on and no one else?" Bobby asked before the two left the kitchen. Sam looked down at Nikki questioningly.

"I think it's because Sam has such a disciplined mind. He lets very little escape his control. Though I do catch some projections when he's upset or hurting. Nothing like I get from others though." They left the kitchen and headed towards their room. Dean smiled to himself.

"So, any regrets?" Bobby asked. Dean looked up at him.

"I heard some of what she said to you on my way in here." Dean sighed.

"I don't know, I left them to make sure they had a life far away from this shit. Now I find out that she's fixing to marry a doctor and one day Ben will still turn out to be a hunter. I thought leaving them would help, now I'm not so sure." Bobby sighed.

"Son, I have to admit that if the boy was going to become a hunter then you're the only one I would have train him. Though it sucks knowing the boy will have that kind of life at least he'll have you and Sam on his side to guide him. Who knows how many people you saved went down that road." Dean looked up at Bobby in surprise.

"I never thought of what they did afterwards ... you know the people you save on the job. You ever have someone turn to the life after you save them?" Bobby nodded.

"Can't say they lived long though, but yeah I did. Sad case, sadder story, not something I really feel like sharing tonight." He dropped his empty cup in the sink and shoved away from the counter. "I'm heading off to bed, another long day tomorrow." Dean nodded to him and stood up.

"Yeah, me too." They double-checked the doors and salt lines, Bobby making his way up the stairs as Dean headed down the hallway to his room. He paused at Sam and Nikki's room and knocked softly. Sam's voice said 'Come in' so Dean cautiously opened the door. Nikki's black hair was draped over Sam's arm, her beautiful head resting in the crook of his elbow, their leg's twined together, as he held a book up for her to brush her fingers over. She was softly whispering the words to him and he was repeating them to her in Latin. It was the most intimate thing Dean had ever witnessed and he drank in the moment like fine wine. Though his own heart secretly sought for the love and caresses of a woman who could handle him and Sam's lifestyle, he never truly thought he'd live long enough to find her. But the scene before him made all the sacrifices him and Sam had made appear to be a walk in the park and he'd move heaven and earth to make sure his brother had his own piece of the apple pie life, even if it meant carting around a pink duffel bag in his baby's trunk.

"Bobby's headed for bed, but I think I may head out for bit. You guys need anything while I'm out?" Sam's eyes jerked up as he shifted on the bed.

"Heading out? What for?" He made a move to sit up but Dean held up a hand and shook his head.

"Just heading into town to have drink and clear my head for bit." Nikki grinned softly and Sam's breath hitched. He started to say something but Nikki coughed delicately and laid a hand on Sam's chest. He glanced down at her and then back to Dean who took in the strange exchange with a frown.

"I probably don't want to know what that was about do I?" Nikki chuckled and shook her head.

"Have fun Dean, we'll see you in a bit ..." Her voice trailed off as she began reciting from the book and Sam went back to translating it to Latin for her.

* * *

Nikki closed the book and laid it to the side as Sam moved once again to rise from the bed. She sighed.

"He's going to get hurt Nikki, I need to go help him."

"Sam," she said patiently, "I showed you he was going to come home just fine."

"But the demon's ... they attack him as he's leaving the bar ..." Nikki nodded.

"And the woman show's up to save him ... he'll be fine." She reached for Sam's back and wrapped her arms around him. He absently rubbed his hand up and down her arm, but was still somewhat distracted by the vision she'd shown him as Dean had entered the room. Two demon's had been attacking Dean as he left the bar, he'd seen his brother take out one, then get hit by another and fly into a wall.

"I don't know how a woman will save him Nikki ... he needs me ... "

"This is not just any woman Sam ... you'll see ..." she whispered softly in his ear and it sent hot shivers down Sam's back. He turned back to Nikki and drew her into his arms, his lips warm and gentle on her own.

"For the love of all that's Holy we better figure out a way to draw out those damn dragon's soon or I swear I'm going to explode!" He groused into her neck as she giggled at him.

* * *

Dean walked into the run down bar with a heavy sigh. Truth be told he was gloriously happy for Sam, though he thought his brother was insane. If the shoe was on the other foot, he'd have already sampled the goods and been back begging for more. He chuckled sourly to himself as he thought back on his time with Lisa and Ben. He'd always wanted a wife and kids, his own home, a regular job, and back yard barbecues. He'd just never factored in the kind of woman it would take to handle him. Lisa had been there, a port in the storm, and she'd tried to manage it the best she could but in the end it had been too much for her. It stung a bit though. It also terrified him that Ben was going to turn to hunting. He'd done everything he'd knew to do to be normal for them, but the fact that there was an empty chair at the table every night that should have been filled by his brother had left a festering hole in his soul that no one could have filled except Sam.

Now, he sat here at the bar, nursing a drink for the last hour and a half wondering what exactly the problem was. Several women in the bar were checking him out, but for some reason it was like his mojo was on lock down. He didn't respond to any of them, he hadn't responded to any woman since he'd left Lisa. It's not like he was a monk or anything!

_'Seriously, the next hot chic that walks by and smiles my way is going to get an in depth look at her ankles in the back of the Impala.' he thought to himself with a self assured smile._

And sure enough a beautiful woman sat down beside him, snaked her arm across the back of his chair and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Wanna go out back?"

Dean couldn't believe his luck. He stood up, tossed a few bills on the table, and turned on his charm.

"I'm pretty sure you just read my mind." She took his arm and they headed out the back door. They'd no more than crossed the threshold and Dean had the demon killing knife out and in her back as two other demon's hit him head on. Dean flew back into the side of the building and from the corner of his eye he saw the bartender open the door, eye's widened, and turn back in.

'_Smart barkeep, Bobby must come here often.' he thought to himself._

"You Winchester's apparently are a thorn in our Master's side. To bad, I was rooting for your brother you know. Now, I'm going to have to kill you both, and his hot little girlfriend too." Dean laughed.

"Haven't you heard yet? We're a bit hard to kill!" he lunged forward and managed to knock the demon off his feet and cut him deep with the knife before the other landed a kick to his stomach and a punch to jaw which sent him flying back again, this time knocking the knife a ways up the alley and to for Dean to reach. The injured demon smoked out immediately leaving the other one to finish Dean off.

"You sorry sonsabitches will never touch my brother again ... "he whispered.

"Too bad, me and him got real close in Hell. It's ok though Dean, as soon as we get him back, I'll let you carve him up a bit too. Promise." The demon laughed and raised his hand using his power to choke the life from Dean. Just as Dean thought he was either going to break his neck or pass out the door to the bar flew open and a shotgun blast exploded near his head. He was released from the demonic choke hold and fell to the ground.

Eye's squeezed shut, all he could feel was a cool set of delicate fingers on the side of his face. The soothing touch nearly made him want to pass out again so he opened his eyes and his vision swam and tilted. The woman crouched in front of him had her back to the light, making Dean struggle to focus on her.

"You ok, or did you finally take one too many hits to your head?" Dean's heart stammered to a sudden stop. That voice was achingly familiar. Those fingers too. He grabbed the woman's tiny wrist, who struggled a bit at first.

"Dean?" She asked again. "You ok or do I need to call Sam?" Dean moved her to his side so he could get a clear look at her face.

And once Jo realized he couldn't see her well enough in the light and moved to his side she smiled softly at him and closed her hand over his own on her wrist. She was dressed in the same shirt and jeans she'd been in the day the she'd died, her long blonde hair was the same, her eyes were the same, her face the same, her body the same, her damn lips the same ... Dean thought he'd died and went to Purgatory because he knew damn well this was both heaven and hell seeing Jo Harvell alive again.

"Are you real?" he asked. Jo nodded.

"I am."

"What brought you back?" he asked. Jo smiled.

"How about I explain it all back at Bobby's place? You look like you could use an ice pack, or three." She stood up and helped Dean get to his feet, but before they moved off Dean pulled Jo in tight and kissed her roughly, claiming her lips in a kiss that nearly had Jo melting at his feet. When he let go he was holding her up, his hands dug deeply in her hair, both of them breathing in ragged gulps of air.

"That is what I should have done the day I met you."

* * *

Nikki came awake with gasp and sat up in bed shaking. She'd felt something like an electric current run through her whole body. She quickly turned to Sam who was moaning in his sleep. She frowned, suddenly concerned.

"Mmmmm ... yes ... just like ... no don't stop ..." he moaned again. Nikki tilted her head for a moment then blinked. Smiling curiously she reached a hesitant hand out and lightly touched Sam's shoulder. As she entered his mind they both gasped and Sam came instantly awake. He swung around in bed and took in her opened mouth, shocked face, and bright red blush. The bed vibrated with his laughter. He leaned up and kissed her open mouth.

"Sam Winchester you are absolutely wicked!

"Told you to knock first. My mind is a cesspool of sin honey." Nikki whacked his naked chest with her hand.

"Really? I thought you also told me no demonic eyes in bed." He laughed even harder.

"Baby, you didn't stick around long enough to notice that wasn't a bed." He pulled her in tight and laid them back down against the pillows.

"Now, what was so urgent that you had to interrupt my wet dreams?" he asked her.

"I felt something ..." Sam laughed harder.

"Uhh .. sorry?" Nikki elbowed him this time, eliciting a grunt from Sam.

"Not that you Neanderthal pervert ... I mean I think I felt the Cosmos shift, it was electric and vibrated ..."

"Ummm," Sam pressed hot kisses just below her ear which caused Nikki to squirm in his arms, a hot ball of aching need sending her thighs up in flames. Sam's hand caressed her exposed belly as he continued trailing kisses that felt like liquid fire along her neck.

"I'm a Winchester, it's only natural that I'd rock your world honey. Just wait till we're not in dreamland ..." Nikki narrowed her eyes, and silently sent out a call. The clacking sound of Diablo's claws were the only warning Sam got before he smelled the dog's acrid sulfur breath on his neck. Then the hellhound's ice cold nose rubbed along his naked back leaving a slimy snot trail all the way down. He tightened his hold on Nikki.

"That was low, even for you Di." Nikki snorted laughter as Sam carefully sat up in bed and gingerly stood up, taking care not to get any of Diablo's goo on the sheets. Diablo made his way over to Nikki who patted the top of his head.

"As I was saying, I think I felt a shift in the Cosmic Flow. Something powerful has happened and I think it has to do with Dean." Sam snaked his head around the door of the bathroom, a wet rag in his hand.

"Is that good or bad? I thought you said he was going to be ok." He stated frowning.

"Oh he's fine, he's ... OH!" The rag was forgotten as Sam immediately stepped over Diablo to Nikki's side.

"What?" he exclaimed, her vision connecting with his mind like a Mack Truck. "It can't be ... she died in Carthage!" Nikki smiled.

"That's why I couldn't make out who she was ... I was looking for her in the wrong place! Oh how wonderful for Dean. He'll be very ecstatic when I tell him the changes this has made."

"I need to wake up Bobby, he'll want to know what's going on." Him and Nikki dressed quickly and headed to the living room.


	6. Hot Damn and a Shaker of Salt

**Hot Damn and a Shaker of Salt ...**

* * *

Dean frowned as him and Jo pulled into Bobby's drive. The lights in the house were on and he could see someone in the window of the living room. He guessed that Nikki either had known what was going on before he left and that was the exchange he'd witnessed or that sometime in the night she'd gotten a psychic news flash. Either way her prediction had come true, a woman had come back to save him, and everyone in the house was up and standing on the porch waiting for them. Jo looked over at him, a tense look on her face as they got out of the car.

"Dean, I want you to know I have a purpose for being back here." Dean's breath caught.

"You saying this isn't permanent?" Jo shook her head.

"Never got that far, just know I was brought back to help you, and I really wanted to get back." Dean's frightened eyes met Jo's whose were clearly terrified.

"Nikki will have answers and if she doesn't know, we'll deal with that too. Either way, your back and I'm not letting go." Jo's eyes were swimming with tears as Sam took three large strides and had her in a bear hug that nearly broke her ribs.

"Sam, can't breathe!" She ground out, chuckling. Sam set her back down on the ground and smiled.

"It's good to see you Jo." He said and stepped back as Bobby lead Nikki over to them. Jo hugged Bobby a bit tearfully as well and then turned to Nikki, not sure what to expect.

"About time you showed up." She smiled at Jo and extended a gloved hand. Jo's eyes widened.

"Oh my god, you're blind!" Jo looked back at Dean and who were both chuckling.

"Don't let that fool you, she took Dean out and didn't break a sweat." Sam commented wryly. Dean grumbled something unintelligible then elbowed Sam.

"Shut up, Bitch."

"I manage on my own between the three of them." She quickly projected Diablo's image to Sam who nodded. Jo caught the exchange.

"Thought your physic stuff ended Sam." Sam shrugged and cast a pointed glare in Dean's directed.

"Residual effects." Dean commented. "Umm, Jo, why don't you take Nikki inside, I need to talk to Bobby and Sam, ok?" Jo took the hint and guided Nikki back into the house.

"So, that's three people put back into play. Who pulled her out?" Bobby asked, referring to Samuel Campbell, Sam, and now Jo. Dean shook his head, not wanting to think about his Grandfather right now and from the look on Sam's face neither did he.

"She's not sure, she just remembers that she was sent here to help us. She's pretty sure it's just shore leave, though it'll be a tropical day in hell before I let her go again." The relationship between Jo and Dean had been something Sam had expected to see blossom until Jo had been mauled by that hell hound in Carthage and died. Sam's face scrunched and Dean raised an eyebrow at the look.

"Oh, shit."

"What?"

"How the hell are we going to introduce Diablo without Jo freaking out?" Bobby snorted.

"Alot better than he was introduced to us that's how." The three stood there for a second pondering the situation.

Diablo was the least of their worries. Dean was confident that Jo would come around like they did as far as the hell hound was concerned. Unfortunately, the biggest concern they faced was no one comes back without someone planting a hidden agenda up their ass. Dean's first reaction would be to call Castiel, but Cas was so busy elsewhere he dreaded asking. Not that he didn't miss his friend, but he had a sinking feeling that every time he asked Cas for help, some demon killed a kitten on the other side of the world. So instead, he opted for the usual plan.

"We'll deal with it one problem at a time. Right now we need to focus on keeping Sam from defiling our virgin so we can locate a Dragon." Sam slowly rotated an irritated glare in his brother's direction.

"Don't give me that look ... I'm on your side man. First thing I wanted to do when I got out of the pit is get laid too!" Sam looked about ready to explode.

"Dean, don't start with me ..."

"Seriously, there's things you can do ya know ..." A resounding 'WHACK' echoed through the salvage yard.

* * *

Jo led Nikki to the couch and sat down beside her. She was struck speechless that the woman before her was blind and had lasted this long. This life didn't exactly come equipped to handle handicaps. The weak were weeded out fast and only the strong survived, so if Nikki was still around then she must have some kind of kick ass ability and one thing Jo knew for certain was that abilities like that didn't come naturally and they didn't come cheap. Nikki smiled.

"My abilities did come naturally, I was born with them. Though you are right, my parents were killed because of them." Jo nodded, painful memories tightened her chest for a moment.

"Is that how you lost your eyesight?" Nikki nodded.

"Yes."

"How have you survived all this time? It's hard enough, I can't imagine what it'd be like if I couldn't see." Nikki chuckled.

"I think a better question Jo, is why did you lie to Dean?" Jo's face blanched. She'd had a sinking feeling when Dean had told her about Nikki. The angle had not told her there would be a physic involved.

"What?" Jo asked, backing away from Nikki slowly. A snarl behind her had Jo frozen in sheer terror.

"Don't worry, Diablo won't hurt you unless I tell him to do so. And no, the creature didn't send him for you. They can't control hell hounds. As you consider your options, and I imagine they are limited right now, I should let you in on a secret ... that wasn't an angel. It was a Dragon." Jo looked at her shocked.

"He told me that if I wanted to see my mother that I needed to collect information for him. But the minute I saw Dean ... "Jo sighed and hung her head.

"Did you know that love is the one thing you carry across with you?" Jo looked up, not bothering to nod, and definitely not wanting to get into a conversation about the things you take to the other side with you right now. Nikki's voice was deep just then, her accent acting like anesthesia to Jo's frazzled nerves.

She took a deep breath. "I'm supposed to find out what makes you tick, how much they know about Purgatory, and if they know how to get to it, and if I do that, keep him informed, then he'll let me see my mother. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I can tell you that I hate being someone's bitch, and I'm no back stabber either. Mom loved Dean and Sam and Bobby very much. So do I." Nikki nodded.

"I believe you. It's also very good news for us. It means that the dragons are ready to deal. We should let them know that." Jo started to rise but stopped.

"The hell hound is still here ... " Nikki chuckled.

"Never mind him, his name is Diablo, and he's been my companion for a very long time." She whispered "_Illuminati." _ Jo nearly jumped over the couch because he was right in front of her face, his large teeth bared. She narrowed her eyes at him and frowned.

"Is he ..." Nikki sighed disgustedly.

"Diablo, you're a lecherous hound dog. She's Dean's girl, you want to tangle with him?" Diablo gave Jo a quick sniff then plopped down on the floor and rested his head in Nikki's lap, his tongue lolling to the side. Jo's eyes popped out of her head as the huge dog cocked his head and gave her a wink.

"I don't believe what I'm seeing." Nikki laughed.

"Wait till you have the unfortunate luck to witness the pissing match between Dean and Diablo. It's a pathetic sight to see ... these two arguing." Jo wanted to laugh but the sight of the hell hound terrified her and her hands were shaking. Nikki dismissed the hound who disappeared and Jo seemed to relax a bit.

"What are you going to tell Dean?" Jo asked, watching her remove her a glove, a new sense of dread coiling in the pit of her stomach.

"Tell me what?" Jo jerked around on the couch and hesitantly met his gaze, as Dean walked in to the room rubbing the back of his head and casting irritated looks Bobby's way. She saw everything on his face, he already knew. She swallowed hard and looked away from him to Sam and Bobby. They knew as well. She was here as a traitor, not a friend.

"That isn't true Jo." Sam stated as he leaned against the wall. "Nikki knows you never meant any harm towards us." Dean gave Jo a reassuring smile.

"We're pretty much used to this by now ... no one comes back just because someone likes us that much honey. There's always strings attached. We just need to know which ones were attached to you." Jo looked at him tearfully.

"I'm sorry Dean, I just wanted to be with Mom." Dean pulled her up and into a tight hug, she leaned back to look at him as he planted both hands on the side of her face.

"I understand Jo, I really do. We went through this with Adam to. When they sent him back to be Michael's vessel all because I refused him, it was all Adam had wanted too. But we'll work this out, ok?" Jo nodded, a bit embarrassed. She'd always been tougher than this, full of fire and spunk, a true fighter. But since she'd come back, she felt weak, broken, and didn't understand why. She felt a cool hand on her shoulder and turned to face Nikki, her colorless eyes seemed to strike Jo to her very core.

"Jo, with your permission, I'd like to search your memories. I believe that many of the answers we are seeking lie in your mind." Jo looked at Dean, who nodded.

"It'll be ok Jo. Right Nikki?" he asked nervously.

With a soft smile Nikki placed one bare hand on the side of Jo's face and they were both transported back through memories till they wound up in the Jo's last few minuets of life. They stood looking her bloodied body, lying limply on her mother's shoulder, and Jo began crying all over again. Nikki drew her into light hug.

* * *

_'Jo, it's necessary for you to understand that these are only memories. Some you may remember, others you may have been commanded to forget." Jo straightened and looked at her. "What I am searching for is the moment you entered Purgatory.' Jo frowned._

_'Purgatory?' Nikki nodded._

_"We know that Sam and Dean's parents, and you and your Mother never made it to Heaven or Hell. That leaves Purgatory. It is my belief that you were being held there for safety reasons, but by whom I do not know. The closer I get to Purgatory, the visions become less reliable. I need to see what you saw in order to understand the process.' Jo sighed._

_'But this is all I remember. I died before the explosion so this is what I saw, then I was just gone .. I don't remember where to or what I did ... I just remember being very lonely and wanting to see my Mother. Then something pulled me out ... ' she ended that with a small gasp and Nikki smiled._

_'Exactly, you remember being pulled out ... '_

_'Which means that someone messed with my head ...' Nikki turned to Jo now and took both of her hands._

_'I want you to give me control here Jo and let me follow the path of the memories. It will feel strange to you, because I will have to bring you along with me ... Just don't fight me." Jo felt pressure building in her head but just as she started to struggle it receded and she felt as if she were floating outside of her body. Streaking through memories, her and Nikki entered a brightly lit hallway that seemed to stretch on and on forever. She watched her memory self stand there for a moment then immediately check for wounds, watched her face smile at the miracle then shrink when she realized she was dead. And alone. Her mother had promised she'd never be alone ... Jo wailed in misery and crumpled to the floor. Time seemed to fast forward then, like watching footage of a security tape. She never moved from that spot for what seemed like a lifetime, then a man appeared, they talked ..._

* * *

And Jo was back in the living room, watching Nikki move away from her as Sam helped to pull her glove back on. Jo swayed a bit and Dean wrapped his arms around her to keep her from falling. Bobby shoved a glass in her hand, mumbling something she couldn't understand due to the rush of static that was running through her head. Next thing she knew she was sitting in a chair, Dean's hands were rubbing her thighs and a blanket had been tossed over her shoulders. She looked up to brush a lock of hair from her face and noticed her complexion was white as a sheet in a mirror across the room.

"Wow, she really packs a punch, huh?" Jo commented shakily.

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, she's pretty intense. How are you feeling?" Jo took another shaky sip of the whiskey.

"I know why I've been girly since I came back ..." Dean snickered and Jo cut him a glare. He just winked waiting for her to continue.

"Mom promised I wouldn't be alone ... but I was in a hallway, no doors, no windows, just a hallway that went on forever, and so alone." She stated quietly, tears streaming down her face. Anger flashed through Dean like lightening ... _Bastards ... she never deserved any of this!_

"Jo ..." he whispered raggedly, "Jo, I'm sorry for everything that happened to you and your mom. If I could have stopped it ... " Jo looked up at him, anger flashing in her eyes.

"You COULD have stopped it Dean ..." Sam met Jo's eyes across the room as she jumped from the chair, the blanket and glass falling at Dean's knees. He was up in flash reaching for her, but she shrugged his hands off and walked up to Sam, an accusing look on her face.

"I know all about the demon blood, the lies you told, the things you did! YOU broke the last seal, YOU let him out, YOU killed me and my mother!" She balled her hands into fists and began pummeling Sam as hard as she could. Sam simply stood there taking the blows, finally grabbing Jo and bringing her against his chest, engulfing her in his long arms to keep her from hurting herself. She struggled against his strength to no avail. As the fight left Jo and she hung limply in his arms, Dean met Sam's eye's with sadness. Bobby stood helplessly by watching the exchange and feeling as if the elephant in the room had went on a stampede.

"Jo, it wasn't like that." he stated as he stared hard at her. "We all had to make decisions then that affected everyone on this planet, not just a simple few around us. If we had it all to do over again, we'd make the same decisions. One thing I can tell you girl, is that no one escaped without licking some serious wounds. And at the time, we all wished we could have joined you and Ellen, because Death would have been preferable to seeing what those two boys had to go through." Bobby put a tender hand under her chin and raised her head up. "For over a year I couldn't bring myself to look at a newspaper or watch TV. Because all I saw was a bunch of sick, twisted, depraved people committing crimes against each other. And it turned my stomach knowing what that boy was going through in Lucifer's cage, and no one topside knew, much less cared, about his sacrifice for them. So yes, you hurt, yes you died too, but being stuck in a damn hallway by yourself for eternity would have been nothing compared to what you would have gotten if Sam and Dean hadn't made the decisions they did. We love you Jo, we're deeply sorry, but you're not the only one to experience loss and pain. And now that you're back, you need decide on what you go forward with. Hate or Love?" The old hunter turned and picked up his whiskey glass, took his hat off and scratched his head, and placed the hat back on. Sam met Bobby's eyes with a look that clearly said _Thank You. _

Jo caught her breath and stood up as Sam slowly dropped his arms. She turned to him with a frown.

"Sam I ... I don't know what to say ... I just ... " Sam shook his head.

"Don't think that I don't wake up every day and hate myself Jo. But I move on. I won't lie, it gets easier to live with every passing moment. My actions are something I will carry with me for the rest of my life, what little there may be. I'll always be a target simply for who I am, his true vessel, and because of that, I will always have to make decisions that put the ones I love in jeopardy. But that doesn't mean I don't take responsibility for them." Sam paused wincing and rubbed his forehead. "'N doesn't mean that you and your mom were disposable either. 'Jus hope that you, Jo, are never put in a position that you have to make some of the choices that we've had to make." Nikki jerked noting his slurred speech, gesturing to Dean before Sam had finished his sentence. He nearly dropped to his knees as a gush of blood rushed from his nose. The seizure came on fast and hard. Nikki reached out to him, lessening the attack as best she could as Dean and Bobby rushed him to their bedroom and laid him down on the bed. Jo's wide and frightened eyes misted over, leaving her no choice but to bolt for the door.

* * *

She flung it wide and ran as far as she could before she fell to the ground, her body racked with sobs. She, like Dean and Sam, hadn't expected to come back and deal with the aftermath of having been caught up in their tragic saga. When she'd agreed, all she had thought of was that if she did this one thing for them, then she wouldn't be alone in that godforsaken hallway anymore. She was angry at them for letting her die, angry at her mother for not keeping her promise, god she was just angry. But underneath it all she knew: Bobby was right, there wasn't anything anyone could have done to change the outcome. Jo and Ellen were casualties of war, a war that Dean and Sam hadn't started, but were caught up in still yet.

She raised her dirty, tear streaked face to the sky and wondered if Heaven would allow her entrance. If she just gave up, here and now, would someone give her broken heart a chance for peace or put her back in that hallway? Jo knew one thing for sure, she couldn't go back there. Not after seeing Dean again. She'd kept him at a distance for so many reasons, and those had been quickly forgotten when she'd looked in his eyes in that alley. She knew then that to go back would be worse than hell because what they didn't know was that Jo hadn't been entirely dead. In Purgatory, you were left hanging somewhere in between. You remembered everything from your life, and all those emotions where amplified times ten. Then you were teased with reminders that if you were deemed good enough you'd go to heaven. If not, then you got a taste of hell to see if you're 'indiscretions' could be burned away in a cleansing fire.

Jo had never been judged. They'd left her in the hallway, hanging, fearing the worst and praying for the best.

Dean walked slowly over to Jo's still form, lying so helpless in the dirt. He removed his jacket and tucked it around her shoulders. He sat on the ground and pulled her head into his lap, his hand caressing her hair, as sobs continued to rack her body. They stayed that way till her crying stopped, then sat in silence for a while. Dean leaned back against an old junk car and closed his eyes and let loose a deep sigh.

"When I came back from hell and found out that Sammy had been shacking up with a demon and drinking blood, I felt a sense of betrayal that rocked me to my core. It wasn't until I had to drive myself away from that cemetery, alone, that I began going over and over in my head all the fucktastic things that had led us to that point. And I realized then that we'd been screwed from the get go, nothing would have changed the outcome. Sam had needed Ruby, needed the blood, so that he could defeat Lucifer and jump in the pit. Then, when he came back with no soul ..." Jo jerked at that, not knowing that piece of information, and rolled over to look Dean in the eyes. He smiled softly and said, "Yeah, no soul. He was a nightmare, girl. A pure unfeeling, no sleeping, killing machine. And I had to live, ride, eat, and talk to him and it killed my soul one piece at a time. Because his body was here, topside, but his soul was still locked in the cage with not just Lucifer, but Michael the Archangel, and they both took out their rage on Sam." Jo sat up and moved beside Dean and leaned against him. He pulled her in tight, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm told his soul is mutilated, scared so badly it looks like raw meat. His mind is lacerated, Death had to erect a wall so that the memories of his torture won't come crashing back and kill him, though he's been having seizures like the one you just saw and that doesn't bode well for the wall. See, time goes by real slow in hell. I figure Sam spent at least a hundred years or maybe more in there with them; alot longer than I did. It's why Nikki is here. She keeps him this side of the grave."

"Dean, I'm sorry." Jo whispered, but Dean tightened his arms around her.

"No, don't. You see Jo, coming back isn't natural. Once you're dead, you're supposed to stay dead. That's what all the baggage is when you come back. You aren't supposed to know how to handle it because you aren't supposed to be here." Jo looked up at him stricken. "Not saying I don't want you here, just saying it's against the laws of nature Jo. It's why you're feeling the way you do right now."

"How did you and Sam handle it?" Dean laughed.

"Violence and Alcoholism sweetheart. It's the way we Winchester's handle everything, didn't you know that?" He winked at her and for the first time she smiled at him, but her face turned serious once more.

"Is he ok? I didn't do anything to ..." Dean shook his head.

"Nah, Nikki's with him right now, dealing with Sam's usual bout of guilt and rage. I figure Francis should be up and pouting soon, moping around trying to figure out how he can get Diablo to use him as a chew toy to make amends to you or some such shit, before Nikki puts him on lockdown." Jo slapped him hard on the chest. "What a shitty thing to say to me Dean!" Dean rolled his eyes, stood up, and pulled Jo to her feet.

"I love you Jo, I think you know that, and I think you love me too." Jo looked away then back, the answer plainly written on her face. "Heh, I knew it!" His cocky grin drew a glare from Jo. "Thing is, you have to move on Jo. We can't side step the issue, walk on glass around you, or ignore it. Shit's going to get bad soon, we may not make it," Dean paused for a moment, "again." He stated wryly. "It's the life we lead Jo. You died once. Sucks, move on." He turned and left her there, staring at his retreating back. Jo sighed. _Violence and alcoholism, huh? _She glanced at the road. _Wonder if there's a liquor store nearby? A bottle of Hot Dam or tequila and a shaker of salt sounds like a plan._


	7. Bobby's Grocery Lists Suck

**A/N**: OK now that I have Jo figured out it's time to get on with the story shall we ...

* * *

**Bobby, Your Grocery List Sucks!**

* * *

The living room was a buzz with talk as Jo walked back in. She'd taken off down the road to find the nearest liquor store, almost forgetting that she had no money till she realized she still had Dean's coat on and luckily his wallet was in his coat pocket. As she'd walked back into the house no one paid any attention to her, which was good, since she felt strange and out of kilter around them all except Dean. Nikki was talking animatedly to Bobby about Purgatory, who was frantically thumbing through stacks of books, Sam was absent, still recovering she guessed, and turned just enough to catch a pointed look from Dean who had a rueful smile on his face as he put out a hand for his jacket.

"Hunter's Helper always works in a pinch ... hot sweaty sex with a handsome guy works even better." He whispered as he took his coat and wiggled his eyebrows at her. She chuckled.

"Thanks for the tip, when I see a handsome guy I might try that." She shot back. Dean narrowed his eyes and shook his finger at her but a loud yell from Bobby had him turning around frowning.

"You find something?" he asked. Bobby nodded.

"Pretty obscure, but yeah I think I did." Bobby stopped, a cold chill running down his spine. He glanced up at Dean. "You're not gonna like this."

Dean sighed. "Never do ... what gives?"

"Looks like we need tainted earth, a native of Purgatory, blood of a virgin, and a weakened rift from a previously opened portal." Dean narrowed his eyes on Bobby and threw his hand over his head.

"Seriously, your grocery list sucks Bobby." Bobby rolled his eyes and looked at Nikki for help. She too was frowning however.

"What he means is that we are in trouble." Dean nodded.

"That I get."

"I've been going over Jo's memories of Purgatory," Nikki flicked her gaze at Dean, her borrowed sight this time coming from Sam, which creeped him out almost as much as seeing her using Diablo's eyes. "Tainted earth would be where Sam rose from hell, the rift would be the room in Detroit where you tried the first time to open the portal to hell. Blood from a virgin would come from me," Dean and Bobby both raised eyebrows at that which she pointedly ignored, "but the Purgatory Native is where we hit a brick wall." Jo frowned.

"What does that mean?" Nikki stared at the book for a moment and sighed. Pushing away from the desk she swiveled in the chair and cast a look down the hallway to where Sam was still resting, a distracted look in her eyes. Dean tried to pinpoint what it was that Nikki was concentrating on but was riveted on what she was saying.

"Neither Bobby nor I can tell if it means we need blood or a whole body that has resided in Purgatory." Dean stared at Nikki for a moment then to Jo. It slowly dawned on him who she was referring to.

"Hell no." Dean shook his head. "Has to be another way, someone else." Nikki sighed and looked over at Jo, a deep sadness settled in her face. Jo's eyes watered, but she quickly looked away.

"Bloody hell ..." Nikki's eyes went wide as she bolted from the chair, papers flying to the floor. "Diablo! To me now!" She yelled, as Bobby jumped to his feet. Diablo appeared in the room and immediately went after Nikki who was racing for the door. The hell hound took one giant leap to the bottom of the steps and began a low howl.

Everyone rushed into the hallway to see what had spooked her so badly, but was quickly knocked back as Nikki flew back into the living room and whipped out her flash drive from her net-book.

"What the hell is going on Nikki!" Dean yelled.

"We've been set up!" Nikki turned to Dean with fear in her eyes. "Get in the car and drive as fast as you can to Detroit, you know which room ..." she loaded her flash drive and net book in its case and handed it to Bobby. "Get the book ... no that one!" She knocked the book out of Bobby's hand and tossed the one he'd been reading from into it as they all stared at her liked she'd gone crazy. The lights in the house began to dim and the ground started to rumble. They all cast wary glances at her. She cursed and pointed to Jo. "She's the key to opening Purgatory ... the whole bloody gate is in Jo! The Dragons didn't want to deal, they wanted to raise the stakes! The seizures Sam is having - information collection! Hell is tapping his thoughts, he's the leak! I made sure he won't wake back up for a while but you have to get them out of here NOW!"

"Son of a bitch ... !" Dean exclaimed as he looked out the window at the massive black demonic cloud heading their way. He looked back at Nikki eyes wide. "Move, now!" Him and Bobby wrestled Sam's prone body into the car as Jo jumped in the backseat beside Bobby, resting Sam's head on her lap. Dean stood there with the door open and looked over the top of the car. At least eight other huge hell hounds had joined Diablo and where staring in to the distance with teeth bared. He glanced up at Nikki who had yet to leave the porch.

"Nikki get in the car!"he yelled. She shook her head, her gazed fixed on the black cloud.

"Nikki, get in the damn car or I'll throw you in myself!" She smiled softly at Dean once and then her eyes went blank as she gave up Sam's sight.

"Go Dean, now!" She slammed Dean's mind with a physic 'push', a strong command to leave that she knew he couldn't fight, and with one last sorrowful look at Nikki he slammed the door and peeled out of the driveway, the Impala not needing any coaxing. As the black car weaved in and out of Bobby's carefully constructed devils trap made from junk cars, and onto the black top, her back end fishtailed as Dean hammered the gas. The last look he got was a blinding flash of light as the legion of demon's washed over the porch in an inky billow of black smoke.

* * *

You could hear nothing but ragged breathing in the car as Dean push it to the limit, eating up miles of road between Bobby's house and the demons. Somewhere in his head he knew that Nikki was gone, and if he focused on it he'd be sick. Sam still hadn't woken up, Jo had his head cradled in her lap, her pale face still shell shocked. Bobby had slipped into the front seat, his face a mask as he stared at the road, the book Nikki had given him lay forgotten in his lap. Dean cast suspicious glances in the rear view mirror occasionally to make sure nothing was following them. All eye's finally turned to him, and their weight was crushing.

"How's Sam?" he asked quietly, Jo shook her head. Bobby looked back at him for a second then over at Dean.

"If she was right ..." he stopped for a second, his throat closing as he thought of Nikki, "we need to keep as much information from him as we can." Dean nodded stiffly. If Demon's had been tapping Sam's memories for hints about Purgatory since he got his soul back that meant they had no idea how to pop that door. And since they had the 'door' sitting in their back seat that meant they'd be sitting ducks if he woke up and overheard any conversation about what had went on. It also meant they wouldn't be able to tell him what happened to Nikki. Dean sighed.

"You think she somehow made it out of there?" Jo asked quietly from the back seat. Dean met her gaze in the mirror and shook his head.

"I don't see how ..."

"Maybe the hounds held them off and she made it to the panic room ..." Bobby offered. Dean wanted to latch on to some way she could have survived the attack but every instinct told him she was dead. If a Legion of demon's were able to break through Bobby's safeguards, which were numerous and powerful, then the panic room wouldn't have provided much safety for her. He shivered, and had to fight the urge to gag, his mind violently refusing to think about what Nikki would have went through. He shoved it away, pushing it down to that pit of despair, rage, and anger that he reserved for his hunter's instincts.

"Dean, maybe it's time we called Cas." Dean shook his head.

"No, she told us what we needed to do. Next town we come to we'll stop long enough to gas up, get something to eat, and keep on driving. You need to open that laptop and see what she was working on, figure out her plan." Bobby nodded quietly, knowing now wasn't the time to push Dean.

* * *

They rolled into the gas station of a small town just outside of Fairmont about mid-morning. Dean pulled himself out of the car slowly, stretching tired aching muscles. Jo headed for the bathroom and Bobby was already buying coffee and food. Dean opened the door and looked in the backseat where his brother lay. His body was cold, slight tremors occasionally rocked his body, but other than that Sam hadn't woke up, and Dean knew why. The wall was down, or at least the biggest part of it, the part that counted anyway. It didn't take a psychic to tell him that his brother was in trouble, just how much trouble Dean didn't know. He ran a hand over his face, the familiar feeling of hopelessness stealing over him.

"Sam will wake Dean, you have nothing to fear there." Dean turned to face Death.

"Will he be ..." Death cocked his head at Dean and cast an irritated glare at him.

"Have you not learned anything? Always the wrong questions Dean." Death waved a hand and time appeared to stop around them. A table and chair came from nowhere along with two chairs. As Death sat at the table, he waved a hand towards the opposite chair. Dean sat, grateful for once for the pile of junk food in front of him. He waited for Death to slice into his pizza before Dean began doing the same. Starving, near exhaustion, he began eating with gusto, knowing that Death would drop whatever bomb he had soon enough. At least he'd take it this time on a full stomach.

"Your reasoning for the way things have played out for you and your brother to the blonde in the bathroom was very insightful. I was impressed. You seem to have truly begun to grasp the magnitude of things." Dean nodded, but didn't say anything. Death looked at him once then continued.

"Nikki left explicit details on her," he paused for a moment, "net book concerning her sessions with Sam. I believe he will find them very insightful later."

Dean threw his pizza on his plate and pushed back a bit from the table, anger twisting his face into a snarl. "You son of a bitch. You knew she was going to die when you sent her to Sam. Do you know, much less care, what this is going to do to him?" Death calmly continued to eat.

"Death has a purpose Dean, a meaning in the grand scheme of things." Dean started to roll his eyes but a look from Death stopped the action.

"I've done everything you asked of me ..."

"The souls Dean?" Dean nearly growled with frustration.

"I'm only human dammit! I ... "Dean stopped himself there, as realization hit him square in the chest. He met Death's eyes over the table who nodded once.

"You are finally starting to see the light." Dean narrowed his eyes.

"You never expected me to find the souls, because they were never lost. You already know where they are. So, what was this all about then? Not because you were concerned about Sam, you don't give a shit about one human soul, it was something else. Something bigger." Now Death stopped eating and stared hard at Dean, his eyes narrowing. Dean didn't budge this time.

"Before you get to Detroit I'm going to send someone to you, a Fate, she has some interesting things to tell you about your angel ally and what he's been up to. And before you insult me one more time Dean," The table disappeared right out from under Dean and he fell to the ground with a loud "Oomph!". Death leaned over him and said, "All souls are precious to me Dean, yours, your brothers, Nikki's, all of them. I have worked very hard to get the order back in place, ensuring as little humans as possible must suffer for the damage that you, your brother, and this feud between heaven and hell have caused. Frankly, I'm sick of it." He straightened and turned. "There's more going on than you understand right now Dean, and for the record, keep to what Nikki said to do. Athropos will be on her way to find you before you get to Detroit."

At that, Death disappeared and time started back up again. Dean sat there for a second and ran a tired hand down his face, when he looked back up Jo was peering down at him. He sighed and stood up.

"We need to find a place to den up for the night Dean ... Bobby needs somewhere he can spread out and go over Nikki's information and ..." her voice trailed off for a moment.

"What?" he asked. She turned back to him.

"Sam is getting worse." Dean immediately made for the car. When he got there he checked in on his brother who definitely had taken a turn for the worse. Sam was ice cold to the touch, his skin pale white, and his lips had a blue hue to them. But his shirt was soaked in sweat and his body was rocked with spasms.

"OK, this isn't good." He looked at Bobby over the back seat. "How much time you think we got till we need to be in Detroit?"

"Next full moon, that's about four days from now." Bobby cast a doubtful look at Sam. "Not sure if he has one day left Dean. This isn't natural, what's going on with him." Dean nodded.

"Let's find a motel and figure out how to help Sam." Dean slid out of the backseat and turned to look at Jo.

"How you holding up?" He asked, noting the way she held herself away from him.

"Fine." Dean nodded and walked around to get in, accepting that there just wasn't enough time to deal with all the fucked up things in his life, including his feelings for Jo right now.

They drove to the first motel they could find, checked in, and settled in the room. An hour later he'd finally gotten Sam out of his sweat soaked shirt and on the bed. He'd stood there looking at him, wondering what kind of hell his brother was going through, if he even knew what was going on around him. For an second Dean felt like giving up. He'd wanted Sam back, was so happy to see him with Nikki, and now it was killing him to think that Sam might wake up and he'd have to explain that he'd left her behind in order to save themselves. He knew he'd done all he could for Sam right now, trusting that eventually he would wake up like Death had said. He leaned in and whispered softly "I'm right her little brother, I'll always be right here Sam." When he got no response he stood up and went to the bathroom to take a shower, never once turning to acknowledge the sad looks coming from Bobby and Jo who had sat down at the table and were going through Nikki's files.

"We're going to have a visitor tonight." Bobby and Jo looked up from their research questioningly as Dean came out of the bathroom with nothing but half buttoned jeans and scowl on his face. Jo looked away, slightly embarrassed to be caught openly staring at him. Dean would have been moved to make a raunchy comment but he was to damn tired to flirt, much less fight, which is what he figured was coming. Jo would sacrifice herself to make things right, which wasn't going to happen again on his watch, and she thought she was doing a good job at hiding that fact. But Dean had been down that road to many times to be fooled, just right now, he was way to tired to deal with it.

"A Fate, Athropos or something. She's got information that Death wanted her to share. Wake me when she shows or if Sam gets worse ..."They all looked at Sam then back to Dean who sighed. "More worse ... I don't know ... just fucking wake me when shits hits the fan!" He growled and immediately fell into some much needed sleep.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Yikes ... Dean resembles Atlas, the Greek God who holds the world on his shoulders doesn't he? Poor guy. You know he secretly feels responsible for Nikki's death, since he didn't stay or force her in the car. Now his brother is dying (not really but hey - Death can be fickle right?), he's facing loosing Jo for the second time, and life in general is just sucking for him right now. Wish I could say it was going to get better - but it just wouldn't be an SPN-fanfic if it turned out all sunshine and roses huh?_


	8. Shit Happens to the Best of Us

**Shit Happens To The Best Of Us ...**

* * *

_"Dean ...!" _

_"Sam? I'm coming Sam ... " Dean kept saying that over and over but Sam's voice kept getting farther and farther away from him. Dean ran harder, but he was tired, his legs felt like jelly. _

_"DEAN ... pleeease ... god NO!" Repeatedly Dean kept hearing Sam's tortured voice begging him to do something but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't seem to pinpoint where his brother was, and _Oh God!_ he just needed a second to rest, to catch his breath, but he couldn't stop running. Couldn't stop trying to find Sam. Finally, he stumbled; face down with tears streaking down his face. He lifted his head and tried to force his body up, just GET UP! He screamed to himself, but it was like the weight of the world was on his back and he couldn't manage to JUST GET UP. _

_Dean let the darkness take him, but after a time he felt a cool breeze, felt a calming hand take the weight, for just a moment, the sound of water, the smell of honeysuckle, and ...  
_

_And somewhere off in the distance was Sam's tortured screams._

* * *

Dean bolted upright in the bed, sweat beading on his forehead, his breath ragged like he'd been running a marathon. He knew exactly what was needed to wake Sam, though part of him was terrified at the aftermath of what was going to happen. His brother had always been the poster child for anger management classes, but he knew that when he found out Nikki was gone, this could truly send him over the edge. And, if Soulless Sam wasn't bad enough, Samifer was downright terrifying. He turned to check on Bobby and Jo who were still sitting at the small motel table, just like he'd last seen them. They were oblivious to his nightmare about Sam which told him something, but he couldn't put his finger on it just then. He turned to the clock and sighed. He'd been asleep no more than twenty minutes tops. He looked over at Sam, his brother's own ragged breathing causing his chest to rise and fall rapidly.

"Sammy?" He whispered and moved to his brother's side. "Sammy, can you hear me? I'm here Sam. I found you little brother. You're fishing at Dad's lake again right? The one he took us to when we were kids? It's ok, you keep fishing for as long as you need to, I'll be here when you wake up, you hear me?" Sam twitched once, twice, then sighed as he managed a weak nod. He turned towards Dean's voice and curled in to the sheets with a long sigh.

"I'll be damned. Is he ..." Dean turned to Bobby and nodded.

"Sleeping now, just ... sleeping, I think."

"How did you do that?" Jo asked, a shocked look on her face. He gratefully accepted the shot of whiskey Bobby handed him and shook his head at them both.

"I don't know, it just came to me." He shivered once, then took a long swallow of the drink in his hand. Bobby nodded, not really believing him, but let it go. Dean nodded gratefully at him, both hunters knowing it was a shared knowledge of hell that had woken Dean at the right time to finally get through to Sam, but Dean also knew that he'd felt like that once before. And Nikki had been the instigator. Maybe it was something she'd done before hand, but somehow Dean just knew: Nikki was still here watching over him and Sam. Tears sprang to his eyes for just a moment, and he quickly excused himself and went outside, leaning against the Impala. Jo started to head towards Dean but Bobby restrained her.

"I know enough about these boys Jo, leave this one alone. With them, it's never easy, and it's never pretty." Jo nodded, guilt almost overriding the older man's sense. She walked to Sam and felt his head, he was warming up. She covered his shoulders with the thread worn quilt on the bed and sighed.

"I'm sorry Sam, for what I said. I don't blame you, I just ..."

"Miss Mom ..." Sam whispered in his sleep and for second Jo nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked quickly at Bobby who was staring at Sam strangely too.

"Does he normally talk in his sleep?" Jo asked.

"Nope, new one on me." Jo's eyes widened as she backed away from Sam's side.

"Ummm ... k ... let's just pretend that didn't happen and get back to the files. Whad'ya say?" Bobby nodded, but before he did he wrote a note to Jo that said 'Remember, do NOT discuss this out loud.' She wadded up the note, nodded once to Bobby, and tossed the remains in the trashcan. If Sam was conscious enough in his sleep and could respond to voices talking to him out loud then there's no telling what he could over hear.

* * *

Dean leaned weakly against the Impala, his hands shaking a bit as he ran them over his face trying to catch his composure. Ok, maybe the wall had held more than he'd thought it had. That was good. Though obviously it was paper thin. Sam's hell was closer to the surface now more than ever and without Nikki here to reinforce nightly the chips that he hammered out of it, it wouldn't take much to punch through. _Such fucking bullshit him and his brother had to live through_, he thought. He'd been looking out for Sam for so long, doing what he did best, and nothing had swayed him from his mission. Till four years ago, when Sam changed from his little brother to the harbinger of the damn apocalypse.

_Fuck me_, he thought as he sighed audibly.

"Really, such drama from one who touts 'Freewill for all!'" Came a sarcastic voice from over his shoulder. Dean turned to find a short, mousy, librarian looking woman wearing black horn rimmed glasses and holding a golden book that glowed slightly with golden tassels swaying in the breeze hanging haphazardly from the top of it. He nearly groaned aloud.

"Athropos I take it?" She nodded.

"Dean Winchester." Dean narrowed his eyes at her.

Dean stood there staring at her for a long moment. A myriad of emotions playing through his mind. This _thing _in front of him had single handily destroyed everything decent, sane, and kind in him and his brother's life. Hell, his whole family's life for that matter, starting with his Grandfather. Athropos watched the emotions play over Dean's face, saw them peak in his eyes.

"Never before have I stood before one single human and saw such hate reflected in their soul towards me." Dean's body shook with rage as he took a step towards her. Athropos stepped back, almost forgetting why she was here and ready to bolt at the frightening being before her. Her back came up against the Impala and she suddenly felt like a deer trapped in a spotlight.

'_Oh Artemis, now I know how your kills feel Great Huntress.' She thought briefly to herself._

"Dean?" Came Jo's hesitant voice from the door of the motel which was standing wide open as her and Bobby took in the scene with trepidation.

"Get back inside Jo ..." Dean's voice was soft, rife with deadly intentions.

"You think that's wise Dean, considering you said Death sent her. I assume this is Fate, right son? She's here to help you, not hurt you." Bobby looked over at Athropos who nodded but never took her eyes off Dean. "So, seems to me we should invite her in, listen to what she has to say before we go all Terminator. What do you say?"

Dean knew deep down in that human part of his brain that still functioned somewhat that Bobby was right. But the monster, held on such a tight leash within Dean for so long had risen its ugly head and it wanted blood for blood from the being in front of him. Bobby gently slid between Dean and Athropos and slowly led her away and inside the relative safety of the motel room. Jo stood there quietly looking at Dean, patiently waiting for him get himself back under control.

He looked over at her, a red haze slowly receding from his vision, and saw not condemnation in her eyes but a silent acceptance. He walked to Jo and let her wrap him in her arms, silencing the beast within him, and waited for the human to resurface. Dean finally slid his arms around her, buried his face in her neck for a moment. Then taking in a deep sigh he stood back and looked down at her face.

"Thank you, for letting me see that part of you, being able to comfort it." Jo said softly, searching his eyes.

"I'm just glad you didn't try to shoot me." Jo chuckled and turned to go back inside but Dean stopped her.

"I made you a promise and I hold to it: Nothing is going to take you away from me again. Destiny can go fuck itself, believe me, it's used to it where Winchester's are involved." Jo looked at Dean with haunted eyes, a wry smile curving her lips.

"I believe you Dean, but sometimes, shit happens to the best of us, including Winchesters." She let go of Dean's hand and walked into the motel room. Dean stood there for a second and frowned, damn he hated when she was right. Sighing he walked into the room and shut the door behind him.

* * *

Athropos sat silently on the bed, her eyes glued to the window in front of her. Dean noticed that she didn't once look Sam's way, and somehow that really pissed him off. He turned around to face her and sat down, leaning somewhat forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands dangling freely in front of her. She noted the menacing posture and winced a bit. Steeling herself she looked Dean in the eyes.

"As much as you hate me, I want you to know that I'm here of my own free will, and against the better judgment of many beings Dean Winchester. But there's truth that you need to know about the situation that you are in, your past, and your future. And I'm the only one who will come forward." Dean narrowed his gaze at her.

"The truth huh? Your kind wouldn't know the truth if it bit you in your self-serving asses. But go ahead, tell me YOUR truth, Fate." Athropos did wince then, the acid hatred in his voice opening a flood gate of guilt. She sighed, her whole body slumping.

"First you should know that Demons never had the ability to travel back in time until Zachariah showed Azazel how to manipulate it."

Dean frowned, "So that's how Azazel got to Mom then?" Athropos nodded, still not looking Dean in the eye.

"With her making the first 'Deal', it set into motion the alternate Destinies that have plagued you and your brother." Dean nodded, almost irritated.

"I didn't know about Zach and his part in it, but the rest was easy enough to piece together. And it's old news ..." she looked up at Dean then who glowered at her "so I'm hoping you have something a little more relevant to the current situation?"

For a moment anger flashed in her eyes, reminding Dean of who and what he was dealing with. But when she rose angrily from the bed Dean met her stare for angry stare. "For eons you humans have blamed me and my sister's for every little thing that goes wrong in your lives! From stumping your toes to death of loved ones. You have no idea what forces are at work against you, and even less knowledge of the forces that work FOR you!" She yelled at him.

"Forces working for us? The only force that ever worked to help us was an angel of death who at first wanted to kill us, so excuse me if I don't exactly view your "forces" with much respect!" he yelled back. She stopped and stared at Dean silently. Dropping back down to the bed, she hung her head once again. Dean sat back down, Jo coming up behind him and placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

"You want current, fine, but you have to understand your past before you can understand the here and now." She raised her eyes to him. "The Fates consist of myself, the eldest, and my two younger sisters. Most humans lives are guided by a single Fate, which my sisters weave. As the eldest I was assigned the 'Vessel' line, specifically you and Sam. Normal humans ..."

"Wait, THE vessel line?" Bobby asked, confused.

"Stop ..." She started to explain, but was interrupted when Death appeared in the room. "You go too far with this Athropos." She glared at Death.

"I volunteered to come here, with your approval, in order to help them. These are things they should have been told long ago Ha ... Death," Dean caught a strange look on Death's face, noting the odd catch in Athropos' voice. What had she been about to call him? He noted the same confused look on Bobby's face but went back to their conversation. "So I will tell them the truth, all of it, and you will not stop me. I have the full backing of Olympus on this." Death frowned at her, then finally he sighed and relented.

She turned back to Bobby and nodded. "Yes, the vessel line." Looking at Dean she said, "One line, your line, or more specifically, your father's line. There has been two other vessels such as you and Sam once before. This wasn't the only time Zachariah tried to start your so called 'Apocalypse'. "Dean shook his head.

"I thought that all angles had a true vessel who ..." Athropos was shaking her head.

"It's easier to call the humans that host them vessels because it sounds more humane. Simple fact is, there is only one vessel line, your line. The rest are polite possessions, done so in a way that makes the angelic possessor feel superior to the only two Archangels who were assigned true vessels in order to carry out their apocalyptic destinies. Lucifer and Michael." Dean reeled with this new knowledge.

"So, then, their just like demons ..."

"No," Death said, his accented voice carrying softly across the room," angels were never meant to inhabit a humans body for any real length of time. Demons posses, angels were meant to guide, silently, and never to be seen. It was His way of building faith in humans and ensuring their free will." Dean stared at him for a long moment.

"So, why tell me this?" He looked back at Athropos.

"Because this isn't the first time angels intervened and tried to start the apocalypse Dean." Athropos stood and began pacing. "You see a long time ago, when God created the vessel line, he charged twelve angels to oversee it. Their constant vigilance had a down side. The more they watched humans, the more they began to side with Lucifer, who had already fallen. They eventually began interacting with humans, to the point of falling in love."

"What happened?"

"They fell, one by one, to the earth. Michael was enraged. He, along with Uriel and Raphael convinced God it was wrong and that all the humans were corrupted. God told them that if he could find one human who was faithful that he would save them. God found Noah. Michael, Uriel, and Raphael immediately went to earth and killed the twelve angels. God sent the flood to wash all signs of their revolt away, including their families, save two small infant babies, who God placed on the Ark along with Noah. Those were your ancestors."

Dean was finding all this hard to believe, that the entire world had been destroyed to save two vessels? And if he didn't have a hard enough time with that information he still had no idea how this mattered one bit to the here and now.

"Ok, so as interesting as this history lesson is, there isn't a damn thing that helps me with the current problem. How does it all tie in with what's going on right now?"

"There's more." Dean ran a hand over his face, so freaking sick of hearing that line, and searched the table for his glass. Bobby handed him the whiskey bottle. Dean poured his glass full, and then turned back to Athropos.

"Heaven is powered by the energy of the souls that reside there. It's where Angels get their power from." Dean stopped the process of raising his glass to his lips, a shiver of dread running down his spine. He swiveled a cold look towards Death who met Dean's eyes with his own chilly gaze. "Heaven's supply, due in large part to the War and the defection of so many Angels to earth, is low." Dean finished his glass in one swallow.

"Hell, incidentally, is running low as well." Death supplied, still watching Dean.

"So ... how exactly did that happen again?" Dean growled, not liking where this was going.

"Souls are the new currency between angels, demons, and anything in between." Athropos let it all sink in, noting Dean's agitated movements. She cast a look at Death, whose gaze briefly traveled over Sam's prone body, then nodded to Athropos to continue. "Purgatory, however, doesn't require souls to power it. Think of it like a hotel, when you first get there you're in the lobby. Then you are assigned, according to your deeds in life, to a certain level. The theory behind it is that souls are sent there to await Judgment. Once judged, they are then sent either to Heaven or Hell." Dean glanced at Jo, who was shaking slightly.

"Who judges them?" he asked.

"The Warden for Purgatory, who has been missing for quite sometime." Athropos seemed to want to say more but a look from Death shut her up. She chose instead to look at Dean, who was staring at her with an odd look on his face.

"Ok ... so ... " he looked at Jo quickly.

"She's the key to open the door, Dean, not the Warden." Death stated flatly casting Dean a long suffering stare.

"You know, usually when one of you volunteer this much information about yourselves I tend to get dragged to hell over it. Don't suppose this is going to come with some sort of guarantee one of you isn't going to come kick my ass is there?" Dean started to fill his glass to discover the bottle was empty. He glanced over at Bobby who was absently sipping from his own filled glass. He noticed Dean's look and shrugged.

"Sorry, gas station didn't include a liquor store." Dean sighed.

"So drop the bomb, how does this cosmically screw me over?" Athropos sat down on the bed in front of Dean again.

"When I was weaving your Fates, I cried and Castiel heard me. He came to me and comforted me for seven days. At the end, he told me that he knew of a way that I could end you and your brother's suffering." Dean almost smiled, good ole Cas, always trying to step in. She looked at Dean strangely for a moment. "He told me to separate the strands that the bind the body and the soul together and that he would get Sam out of Hell." Dean's stomach turned. "And, though it goes against everything that I am, I did it." Her face was full of shame now and a single tear slid down her cheek. "I wrote his Hell Dean and I died a little inside with every weave. So I unraveled one end, believing that he would do as he said. Except, I learned from Death that he didn't. He took Sam's body, but left his soul in Hell." Dean choked, his eyes misting over, and for a moment his heart stopped. Athropos was immediately on her knees in front of Dean, her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry Dean, its why I can't face Sam! I knew better, but ... no one has ever endured what he did and not turn demonic to end their own suffering! It was indescribable, and I had to weave it! Such things ... such awful things ... all of Olympus was enraged at the brutality of it all. And then to be betrayed by the Angel ... it was more than I could bare!"

Dean couldn't breathe, static filled his ears. Nothing in this world could have prepared him for Athropos' confession. Why would Castiel have done this? He was opposed to Sam jumping in the pit, more than ready to ride out the apocalypse with them as a human, comrade in arms. He'd been like a brother ... Dean flung is head back and howled in pain. Sam immediately arched on the bed, eyes flung open and hands making a fist in the sheets. Both men caught in the throes of agony, but it was Athropos' keening wail that was heard above them all. It seemed to be tied to Dean and Sam's pain and the more they felt the louder she cried.

"STOP!" Death's voice whipped through the room like a crack of lightening.

Sam instantly went prone on the bed but not before Bobby caught of glimpse of the raw agony in the young man's eyes. Dean hung limply in Jo's arms who was valiantly trying to bring Dean back to himself for the second time that evening. Death bent down and whispered something in Athropos' ear and she stood. Opening her book she ripped out a page from it then plucked a few golden strands from the tassel. She folded the strands inside the paper and laid it flat on one palm then covered it with the other palm. An intense light flared between her hands then it was gone.

"I'm breaking all the rules being here so I'm going to continue it by telling you that you have three options. Continue on to Detroit and see where your destiny line is taking you. Cas has the dirt, Raphael is guarding the rift in the room, and Crowley has the blood. All they need is for you to show up with the key." She nodded towards Jo whose breath hitched in her throat. "Your second option will be to go along with Castiel. I can't tell you anymore because I can only tell you what your Fate is, your destiny line I can only see as it plays out." She handed Dean the paper, who noted the golden seal that she had placed on it.

"You said three options."

"You're third option is a standing offer from Olympus, Zeus to be more specific." All four eyes turned to her shocked; Dean noted that it was the first real spec of emotion he'd seen on Death's face so far. "I'm to tell you that at anytime, either now or later, should you choose to tell them all to go fuck themselves, you can simply break the seal on the paper and I will come to you and seal your Fate for all time. Olympus will escort you," she looked from Dean to Bobby then lastly to Jo, "your souls that is, to a safe place, where you may live out your afterlife with the respect you deserve." Before she could leave Dean stopped her.

"Look at him, just one time, before you leave." Athropos' eyes widened, almost fearfully. But Dean turned her towards his brother. She nearly fell, Dean's hands tightened painfully on her arms holding her up and forcing her to look at Sam.

"I'm so sorry ..." she whispered brokenly. Dean turned her around to look at him.

"The next time you see him, you look him in the eye. You talk about respect, you say you're sorry? It's too late for sorry, and Hell took his respect and spit on it a long time ago." He released her and she immediately dissolved into a golden mist and disappeared. He turned to Death.

"So?" Death shrugged.

"She told you the truth Dean, which I chose not to do as I felt that it would do nothing more than confuse your priorities. Nevertheless, she's right. You have three options, one of which you've already dismissed for the time being. The other two you won't know how to act upon till you get to Detroit." Dean winced, hating that Death knew him so well.

"However, I will impart this tidbit of knowledge. Sam did not break under the torture that he suffered in Hell. But, his memories of Hell leave a link that Crowley is tapping to get information about how much you know. Without Nikki's influence Sam is a perfect conduit for the demon to use like a puppet. There is no real way to stop this till he enters Detroit, so I have shut Sam down so to speak. He will wake once you enter the city limits. And he's going to be in quite the mood, just as you suspect Dean. Do not stop him. He has a role in this, just as you have, and a choice to make as well. And don't forget that above all you will alone will be the one to defend the Guff when the time comes." Death stared at them all one last time then disappeared.

"Son of a bitch ... we're screwed."

* * *

**- I'm very narcissistic so please review -**


	9. Dismembered, Screaming, Bodies

**It's Also Paved with Dismembered, Screaming Bodies ...**

* * *

There's a reason humans can't see inside their own mind, or anyone else's for that matter. For the most part, it's a jumbled up mess of memories and random thoughts. Some are capable of organizing their mind to the point of being termed 'geniuses'. Sam Winchester is one such human. And right now, Sam was locked in that genius mind of his, sitting in a chair, with a fishing pole hanging limply from his hands. He stared remotely across the top of a glittering pond listening to frogs and crickets, doing his best not to think about what was going on outside his mind or around his body.

_He knew Nikki was dead. After he let his brother walk him outside of his pain and to this place, he'd heard the unspoken apology. The agony in Dean's wordless plea had broken the few pieces of his heart that Nikki had managed put back together. Once again, another woman that he'd loved had died, and that is why Sam sat in the chair, Lucifer next to him, not saying a word. Lucifer was a mirror image of himself of course; he loved using Sam, in more ways than one. It rankled Sam that he still used his face though, even in his mind, but at this point Sam could care less._

_"You know, YES, is still an option. It must be looking pretty good to you right about now." Sam rolled his eyes. Lucifer chuckled quietly. "Oh Sammy, really, until you fucked me over and threw us back into the pit even you admitted we had some fun." Sam jerked around and looked in to his own eyes, a fleeting memory of the dead bodies of the demon's from his past flashed through is mind._

_"You are such a dick." Lucifer laughed and nodded._

_"So I've had to listen to Michael tell me repeatedly. Honestly, my little piece of hell was much more tolerable without his whining." _

_Sam sighed. _

_Lucifer went on and on for some time complaining about Michael. The Archangel was still pissed over the fact that Sam had drug him down with him. At least he knew now that Adam was safe, relatively so, Michael having tossed him into Purgatory in order to preserve his vessel, you know, just in case. The asshole could have released him before he fell so Adam could have gone back to Heaven, but hell no. The selfish douche had meant to punish him by continuing to keep him from his mother, simply because he knew he wouldn't get out of the pit. _

_"How is it that he's still in there anyway? Why didn't his brother's get him out?" Sam asked._

_"Because he's an asshole?" Lucifer mused, staring humorously at Sam. Sam shrugged. Lucifer sighed again. "Seriously Sam, we've had this conversation before. Just say YES and this will all be over. No more torturous memories to whine over, no more angst ridden nights fretting over how you killed numerous innocent ... "Lucifer had to snicker over that one, "humans. Just one simple word and all that's behind you."_

_Sam sighed. Lucifer sat in silence for a bit more, watching Sam morosely casting his line. Finally the water began to bubble and fish started rising to the top. Sam growled and tossed the fishing pole into the pond. He glared at him._

_"Happy now?" Lucifer's lips thinned._

_"I thought it would hasten this little fishing trip of yours. I'm bored." Sam shot him a bitchface, which his Luciferself shot back at him. Very unnerving watching himself do that. _

_"You know, I'm proud of you." _

_Sam twitched, just a bit then said, "Proud of me? That's about the most offensive thing you've said to me yet, and believe me you put me through enough shit in the pit, you worthless, ugly, wingless, piece of human shit." His voice was calm, though inside he wanted to torch the look off Luciferself's face._

_"Yes, proud of you." He continued unfazed, though Sam knew he'd scored a hit. He hated to be reminded that he'd been cast out, was wingless, and no longer considered 'beautiful'. "No matter what I threw at you, no matter what Michael threw at you, you didn't break. You truly are a special human Samuel Winchester." He looked at Sam, who was staring glumly at the water again. "Unfortunately, you are as stubborn as the whole Heavenly Host put together." He noted Sam grudgingly cutting his eyes over to him now and smiled inwardly. "This is what you were born for Sam. I may be evil, it's what I was created for apparently, but it's all in the way you use it right? Castiel is good, his intentions are good, but he's done some really evil shit. I'm impressed with him actually, never thought he'd have the balls. He probably wouldn't have if he'd never been introduced to you and your brother." He turned to look at Sam, who was looking at him with half interest now. Which was better than the silent treatment he'd been getting from his depressed vessel since he'd gotten here._

_"You know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Sam said._

_"It's also paved with dismembered, screaming, bodies. What's your point?" Lucifer's voice was clipped, his restraint with Sam starting to fray a bit._

_Sam shrugged. "No matter your good intentions, if the act is evil, then you've never really done anything good have you? Cas thought he was helping, but what he was really doing was trying to justify the fact that he was in uncharted waters and no clue as to what to do with the freedom he'd gained thanks to the sacrifice I made. Angels are used to be being given orders and freewill just doesn't factor in to the equation for them." The look on Luciferself's face was comical. His eyes bulged (Sam vowed never to do that, it just looks stupid), his mouth hanging open._

_"You have a rare insight to angels Samuel which has to be where you get your creative thoughts from. As interesting as this conversation is however, you still have not said Yes to my offer." _

_"How many times do I have to tell you NO before you leave me alone?" Lucifer's oily smile spread wide._

_"Samuel, I will NEVER leave you alone. Ever." _

* * *

Dean stood in the middle of the motel floor staring in to empty space. Athropos had puked so much information that his head was still reeling. Though he knew she was telling the truth, he still didn't know how to put it all together. The only thing he knew for certain was that Detroit was going to be the final resting place for the Winchester's. He looked down at Sam's still body. Occasionally he'd notice his brother's lips twitch, almost like he was talking to someone, a frown here, a grunt there. Dean didn't know what was going on in Sam's head but he knew that Death had gotten Sam out of harm's way long enough for them to get to Detroit. He looked around the room at Bobby and Jo. They were busy pulling websites and cruising through maps trying to find a way in to the city, which was on military lock down. They still didn't realize that it was all useless. They wouldn't need a map or weapons. This was it. Someone or something would get them there because they had Jo. Or kill them and take her. Either way, there wasn't any amount of maps or rock salt that would stop it.

If Fate was right they were walking into Armageddon all over again.

Dean sighed. Bobby looked at him, a deep sadness had settled into the old hunter's eyes. He knew too. Jo met his eyes a time or two and it was the same for her.

"You are the most incredible woman I'd ever come across. You came at me ready to kick my ass the first time we met, full of spit and fire, and the more I got to know you the more I wanted you so badly." Jo's mouth fell open, she cast a hesitant look at Bobby whose smile was already spreading wide across his face. Dean took the keys to the Impala from his pocket and reached his hand out to Jo pulling her up from her chair. He cupped the back of her neck and brought her lips to his in a tender kiss, full of every last decent and kind emotion that was left to him. He felt a small bit of love left in him, and let it flow in to Jo, hoping that he was communicating everything he felt. He pulled back and looked deep into her eyes. "You were the one person I didn't think I'd ever get to have a second chance with, the one thing that I always kept in the back of my head. Late at night, I'd take your memories out and we'd drive across country in the Impala doing whatever we wanted. Sometimes it would just be driving and talking, other times we would be making love on the hood of the car under the stars. So, will you go for a drive with me Jo? This time for real?"

Tears in her eyes Jo nodded, afraid to speak. She turned to Bobby, who nodded to her smiling. Dean guided her out the door and to the Impala.

* * *

They drove for a while in silence, Jo scooted close to him leaning her head on his shoulder, Dean's strong arm wrapped around her, his hand tracing circles on her arm. They listened to music while driving, some of which reminded them of Ellen's Bar. Dean smiled to himself thinking of Ash and his mullet, his geeky computer tech personality was offset by his backwoods redneck ways.

_'Dad would have gotten a real kick outa Ash'_, Dean thought.

Dean found an empty field with a pond, the moonlight shining brightly over its surface. He pulled the Impala in to a clearing and helped Jo out of the car then went in to the trunk and pulled a blanket out. Spreading it out they cuddled under the stars and talked about everything that came to mind from childhood memories of how his mother used to cut the crust from his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to how Ellen had shot one of Jo's ex-boyfriends in the ass with rocksalt because he'd made her little girl cry. They'd went on for hours like that, Dean's back against a tree and Jo's head on resting on his chest. His deep voice vibrating in his chest was soothing, his strong hands caressing her, all the while Dean talked about Sam with such love and devotion that Jo couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to be the recipient of that much loyalty.

Finally Dean stopped and looked down at her, such desperate need radiated between the two of them that Jo nearly stopped breathing. He leaned down and kissed her and it was as if small fireworks were going off in her brain. She snuggled closer to him, doing her best to not pressure Dean to go faster than he felt comfortable with, but needing to be closer than they were. He took her cue and slowly slid his hands under her shirt, raising it up over her head, and tossing it to the ground. Jo did the same, removing his jacket and then his shirt. Her fingertips slowly grazing over his skin, her lips quickly following. Dean moaned, letting the moment flow over him in a healing balm. They both quickly shed their remaining clothes and the cool night air did nothing to cool the raging inferno of aching need in either of them. Dean lifted Jo up and carried her to the Impala, a rakish grin on his face. Jo yelped as the cold metal of the hood came in contact with her skin, but Dean's lips quickly warmed her. They made love slowly, neither of them in a rush to bring on the morning. As they lay cuddled together on the blanket once again, Jo mused that she'd never felt more fulfilled, more loved, than she did at that moment. There was no part of her that Dean had left untouched, including her heart. He was as intense, erotic, and thorough a lover as he was a hunter and she smiled blissfully to herself, wondering what she had been thinking so long ago.

"You're smiling ... is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Dean mumbled, his eyes still closed.

"I was just wondering why we never did this before." He opened one eye and crooked his mouth in a cocky grin.

"I seem to remember telling you that you were missing out ... OUCH!" He laughed and rubbed the spot Jo had just pinched.

"That'll teach you." They both sighed as the sun rose. Rooster's began crowing off in the distance and Jo stiffened. Dean frowned and tightened his arms around her.

"I'm scared." She whispered.

"So am I." He whispered back.

They lay that way for a few more minutes and then finally began to slowly get up and get dressed. The warmth from the emotions the night before slowly seeping away from them, leaving a seeping pit of fear and uncertainty in its wake. Jo leaned against the trunk as Dean put the blanket in and shut it. He leaned against the car and took in Jo's pensive posture.

"I know I said that I wouldn't let anything happen to you but the fact is I don't know what's going to happen Jo. I don't know what will happen to you, me, Sam, or Bobby, or how they will use you to open the door to Purgatory if it comes down to that happening. I do know this though," He looked hard into her eyes, "I will fight to the death to keep you from harm. However, I need the hunter that you were to rise to the occasion today Jo. We're going to need everyone's game faces on when we enter the city. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Jo nodded. "Hell on earth and the angel's aren't bearing goodwill towards mankind. Don't worry stud, I'll be bringing my A-Game. I don't intend to go out without a fight."

Dean smiled, leaned down and kissed her. "Stud? I like that." He wiggled his eyebrows at her as they both got in the car. Just as Dean pulled out onto the highway to head back towards town his cell phone rang.

"Let me guess, you're lonely and Sam's not much company?" Dean said with a grin on his face.

"Where are you at?" Bobby's gruff voice answered, wiping the playful look off Dean's face. He heard the no-nonsense tone and knew something was up.

"Heading your way, what's wrong? Is Sam OK?"

"You're brother's fine. But we have company."

"Demons or Angels?"

"Dragons."

"WHAT?" Dean nearly lost control of the car, sending Jo flying across the seat. "Shit!"

"They say the deal Nikki was talking about has been struck. We don't have much time and I need you here now."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes." Dean hung up the phone and looked at Jo.

"Dragons showed up at the motel, the deal for the Guff has been struck between Raphael and Crowley." Jo's eyes widened.

"What do the Dragon's want?"

Dean shook his head. "I don't know, but we're fixing to find out."

* * *

**- I'm very narcissistic so please review -**


	10. ReallyFuckingPissedSam

**ReallyFuckingPissedSam ...**

* * *

Bobby heard the roar of the Impala as it entered the parking lot. The two huge dragons didn't budge from their positions. Both were lounging quite confidently against the wall, neither having said much to him other than to let him know the deal had been struck for the Guff and that they were out of time. Bobby's hopes for a decent ending came crashing down like the Hell Wall in Sam's head. Not that he'd had much hope in the first place. Once they'd found out Cas had went darkside he'd known the boys easy button was lost to them. Now they were running on pure human steam and the boilers were running cold.

Dean and Jo walked into the motel room, Dean making sure he was between Jo and the dragons. They were everything he expected and then some. He'd always thought Sam was the biggest person he'd ever seen but these guys towered over him by at least a good foot ... maybe two. They straightened when Dean entered and a look passed between Bobby and Dean. It wasn't a happy one.

"I expected you'd be bigger." Dean stated sarcastically, earning him a low growling sound that he took as a laugh.

The biggest dragon narrowed his eyes at Dean. "You're exactly what we expected; small, compact, and easy to swallow." Dean's eyebrow shot up.

"Small?" He shot back, but Bobby sent him an exasperated glare and he let it go with a shrug.

"So the demon's made a deal with Raphael for the Guff. We were warned it would happen. What do you have to do with it?" The dragons looked at each other then the tallest one moved forward towards Dean just a bit.

"We gave the girl the power to open the portal. We have our Warden back but she is weak in her current form. We need the portal opened so that she can get back into Purgatory. But the deal for the Guff changes things. The demons and angels can't have that kind of power, they aren't properly equipped for the ancient souls that they would take in. We have taken certain measures to ensure they cannot get to the Guff but our efforts will require you and your brother's gifts." Dean frowned.

"Sam's not up to the challenge right now and I don't have any 'gifts'." The dragon narrowed his gaze.

"It wasn't a request."

"I don't work with monsters, I kill them." The dragon grinned then, a cold smile, which drew his lips tight over a row gleaming razor sharp teeth. His reptilian eyes glittered with a deadly cold fire that nearly had Dean sidestepping the bed at his back and running for safer ground. Jo's hand crept up his arm, her breath hitching. Dean's own murderous beast crept into his eyes for a moment, the need to protect running through him like a blazing hot fire and for a brief second both creatures realized and acknowledged the predator in the other.

"You're brother will be a killing force when he wakes, we've been ordered not to interfere with him. It is you we must prepare." The smallest, if you could call him small, came forward with a bundle and dropped it on the bed.

Dean bent slightly and pulled his machete from under the mattress, the hilt barely visible, and used the knife tip to carefully flip open the small leather wrapped bundle. Within it was a golden box with strange symbols. Dean glanced questioningly at Bobby, who briefly shifted he eyes from the dragons to the box. He rubbed a hand down his bearded face and looked nervously at Dean.

"Greek." He said, nearly spitting the words. Both men looked at the dragon's.

"Fate, it seems, is on your side." Dean gingerly opened the box and laying on a silken bed of cloth was Death's ring. He sighed and shook his head.

"Great, I'm to play Death?" He cocked an exasperated look at the head dragon, who was shaking his head.

"No, that's for your brother. His living body will need the ring to get to the place where his mind currently resides."

Dean flinched. Sam was in Hell, inside his mind. He turned troubled eyes towards Sam. "So, Sam wakes up as Death."

The dragon nodded somberly, a strange look on his own face. "Poetic really." He turned his cold gaze back to Dean and said, "You however, have the ring you will require in order to guard the Guff."

"Which one?" Dean didn't need the dragon to tell him what rings they were talking about. They never left the pocket of his jeans.

"War."

Dean sighed heavily. With a shiver of dread, he withdrew the combined rings from his pocket and pulled them apart. He stared at them for a moment then put all of them back except War's simple golden band. He palmed it for a briefly before looking back at the dragon.

"What now?" he asked.

"He," he gestured towards the smaller Dragon, "will take your brother and the girl into the city where more dragon's wait to escort them to the rift. You and I will put on the ring and we will enter heaven's gates and guard the Guff till the Warden lets me know she has re-entered Purgatory."

"What will happen to me?" Jo asked from beside Dean.

"Once you release the power within you it will be up to Fate if you remain here in this world or pass on to whatever place your soul was meant for." Jo's eyes widened as she turned to Dean.

"Don't worry," he said patting his jacket pocket. Jo eyed his hand for a moment, which was resting over the letter that Athropos had given him. Her eyes cut to Dean's for a moment, a deep sadness in them, and nodded. He turned back to the dragons and nodded towards Sam.

"What about Sam?" The dragon shrugged his shoulders.

"Your brother is not on a level of existence that I have any control over; therefore I cannot answer your question fully. However, I can tell you he has a new level of darkness within him with the recent fate of his mate. It was expected that he would wake and be the force of power that will take out the powerful ones guarding the necessary objects to open the portal. Unfortunately, with the impact of losing his mate to the demons, it could tip the scales and he could irrevocably taint his soul with too much of the dark path he will tread today."

Bobby frowned and cocked his head towards Dean. Dean narrowed his eyes as well. Something the dragon said tripped alarm bells.

"Wait ... "lost his mate to demons"? You mean that Nikki's death could push Sam to switch sides?"

The dragon frowned, obviously confused.

"I mean that once Sam finds out the demons have his mate's soul in Hell he will kill with no remorse. I'm told this could have disastrous consequences for your brother's ..."

Dean nearly collapsed, Bobby leaping towards him and guiding his limp body to the floor. Jo simply sat down heavily in the chair nearest her, silent tears streaking down her face. Dean couldn't breathe, his mind was fracturing into a thousand pieces. He felt white hot heat rising up his spine, felt the flames licking his feet, screams rising in his mind. A blood red haze filled his sight and pain like no other blossomed in his chest. He dropped his head in his hands as guttural moans choked his throat closed even more.

The Demons had drug Nikki's soul to hell.

The last thing he saw before he succumbed to the beast inside him was a small pool of blood staining the carpet near his brother's bed. As he glanced up slowly he saw Sam's bare feet were planted flat on the floor, his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, blood red tears dripping between his fingers and running in a jagged river down his legs. Sam slowly slid his hands away from his face and all you could hear was Dean's shuddering breath. Sam's soulful eyes were gone, in their place was chilling black. Dean wasn't sure Sam would need the ring after all.

Two things registered in his mind then. One, Sam was awake. Two, it was time to kill.

* * *

Bobby slowly pulled Jo away from Dean and Sam. He guided her cautiously towards the door of the motel. The dragon's immediately went on full alert as well. They slowly hovered near the other side of the room, giving wide berth to the two so-called humans who were currently showing no outwards signs of being anything but the killers they'd slowly turned into over the many long years of hunting. What stared out of their eyes now, as both brother's silently took stock of the other, was the monster that had slowly been cultivating deep within them.

Bobby had come to terms with the fact that at some pivotal point in a hunter's life you eventually became the thing you hunted. What he saw now was what he'd become accustomed to seeing in the mirror every morning for more years than he cared to repeat. It's why he didn't shave anymore. But Sam and Dean, well, they'd been through worse, and still shaved. He figured it's because they gave the monster the finger every night they washed the blood off their hands and kissed it good morning when they woke the next day to brush their teeth. Just in case though, he had his shotgun in one hand and the demon-killing knife in the other. He just hoped he didn't have to use them.

Sam stared deep into Dean's eyes as his brother slowly stood up and moved in front of him. Dean's eyes narrowed, something flitted through them, but Sam was having a hard time focusing. His mind was full of rage, it sounded like waves in an ocean, and it was making him angry. So Sam focused on the anger and pushed outwards from his mind. He swiveled his gaze towards the door as it opened slowly. The demon obviously fighting Sam's control, stumbled inside and fell at Bobby's feet. It was a human male, around its 40's wearing a fast food uniform and smelled like sulfur and French fries. He was shaking hard and sweating.

"Nooo ..." The demon moaned but Dean ignored it's plea and grabbed him by the neck and shoved him towards Sam's feet. He turned to Bobby and held out his hand. Bobby's had shook as he handed the demon knife to Dean and silently grabbed Jo's arm and lead her out the motel door.

Dean handed the knife to Sam who grabbed a handful of the demons hair and wrenched his head backwards. He sliced the demons neck so forcefully that it almost sliced straight through. Dean was ready with an empty ice bucket, already collecting the lifeblood that was gushing over his finger's like a warm waterfall. Neither one hesitated as Sam took the bucket and began drinking, the roar in his head ebbing to a more manageable din and making concentrating easier. As Sam filled the bucket once more, Dean turned and began laying out their weapons on the bed. Sam wiped his mouth with the back of his and then wiped his hand on the dead demon's shirt. He then lifted the body, dumped it in the tub in the bathroom, and closed the door.

Dean handed Sam his weapons and the knife, choosing for himself his trusty sawed-off and pearl-handed grips. Sam looked at the knife in his hand then tossed it back on the bed. Dean stared at it for a second, then tucked it inside his jacket. He swung his gaze to his brother.

"Sam, Samifer, or Soulless Sam?" His brother's black eyes met Dean's cold ones. He cocked his head to the side and gave Dean a facsimile of his famous bitchface.

"Does it matter?"

"Just wanting to know which one was at my back."

Sam seemed to consider the question then shrugged. "ReallyFuckingPissedSam." Dean smiled an evil grin.

"Works for me."

Sam jerked his head towards the dragons. "What are they here for?"

"Escort to ..." Sam was shaking his head.

"We walk in on our own steam. They can meet us there." The Dragons didn't bother arguing with Sam and walked to the door. The largest one stopped and turned to Dean and Sam.

"Don't forget to put the rings on." Dean nodded as the dragon left.

"So, you got a plan? Or we just winging this?" Dean asked. Sam slid Death's ring on his finger and shrugged at Dean.

"Kill'em all then?" Dean asked. Sam simply nodded.

"Good enough for me." They started for the door but Sam stopped Dean.

"Where's the other rings?" Dean frowned at him.

"Pocket. Why?" Sam held his hand out, but Dean hesitated.

"Pestilence needs to go to Bobby. He'd most likely be able to pull something out of his ass if need be. Famine is mine."

"Why wear two? Especially Famine's. You know how you'll react." Sam's inhuman black eyes rested on Dean's for a moment.

"Today it won't matter."

"And tomorrow?" Again Sam shrugged, hand still extended.

"May not matter then either." Dean considered Sam's hand for a moment and then with a mental shrug handed him Famine's ring. Sam slid it on his other hand and they headed out the door.

Bobby and Jo were standing impatiently by the Impala and once the guys exited the room immediately noticed the two rings on Sams hand. He looked into Sam's face for a moment, a stern lecture on the tip of his tongue. Dean cut off whatever he thought Bobby was going to say by handing him the Pestilence Ring.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

"Wear it, just in case. Pull a nasty demon-angel STD out of your ass if you have too."

Bobby gave Dean a go to hell look but put the ring on anyway. "Well, best not be late for the party boys."

They all got into the Impala and headed towards downtown Detroit. Dean glanced towards Sam and frowned.

"How'd you manage to crawl outa your head this time?"

Sam just stared off in the distance, but Dean thought he saw a slight shudder and a single tear well in Sam's demonic eyes.

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**- I'm very narcissistic so please review -**

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**A/N: This story has confounded me for months. As I stated early on I wrote the ending, a few weeks after writing the first few chapters, which totally screwed me up once the characters sort of took control of the story. I'm quite anal in that I always plan and research a bit for any stories that I write and now my outline is shot to hell. So I'm trying to figure out how to maneuver the story towards that ending without basically destroying the entire SPN world. And it's really hard because I feel Sam's pain right now, I really freaking liked him and Nikki together.  
**


	11. One last quick Trip

**A/N: Did I mention that Sam's mind is warped almost beyond his own recognition? So this is going to be a trippy ride, pay close attention ... **

**A/N: Rated MA-Mature due to the scenes coming up involving 'implied rape', sex, and torture.  
**

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**One last quick Trip ...**

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As Sam watched the terrain pass by through the car's window, he thought back on just how he'd managed to wrestle himself from out of his Hell warped psyche once again. Slowly he let himself delve into his subconscious, one last quick trip, just to remind himself that at least one small, almost infinitesimal part of his soul was still intact and clean enough to remember his love for Nikki.

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She'd looked at him with so much love in her eyes, slipped softly into his waiting arms, as they sat on the warm sandy beach. Sam hadn't meant to get carried away but all he could think of was how warm her skin felt under the sun, how peaceful the sound of the surf was, sea gulls sounding off in the distance, and that for once the roaring in his head had nothing to do with remembering Hell. He blinked several times as Nikki's soft lips left his and she pulled back to peer deeply into his eyes, the bright sun light almost blinding him.

"You're thinking about Dean and what's going on outside of here." She simply stated the fact quietly as Sam nodded and sighed.

"I know you're not there anymore, and I don't want to go back. But ... " He disentangled an arm long enough to run a frustrated hand across his face. Nikki sat back in his lap, her white flowing gown rubbing softly against his thighs, and wrapped her legs around him, digging her toes in the sand. She took his hand and traced patterns on the top of it aimlessly. "You aren't real, are you?"

Nikki chuckled softly and said, "What's real here inside your head Sam? Do you even know?" A twinkle of humor lit her eyes and Sam laughed too, shaking his head. He pulled her back into his arms and lay with her for a while longer, thinking to himself how much he loved her softly accented voice.

"I'm going to stay here with you, forever."

He made up his mind and felt all his worries slip away. It was as if an enormous burden had been lifted once he'd said the words, but then almost instantly he felt ... loss. He could smell whiskey again, though familiar he couldn't place why he smelled it, and something else, something strange that he just couldn't put his finger on. The mystery smell almost reminded him of the snakes cage his dorm mate next door to him had his first year in college before he'd met ... met ... he couldn't remember the woman's name but knew she'd been important to him once. Jenny? Jennifer? Sam mentally shrugged, not caring about anything but the feel of Nikki's warm hands sliding along his bare shoulders.

He flipped her over onto her back in the sand, his hands sliding up her thigh to her hip. He groaned as he scraped his hand on something shiny in the sand. He was startled when he saw blood dripping from a gash on his knuckles. He glanced down and saw razor wire peeking up from under the sand dune they were laying. Confused he glanced at Nikki. Her eyes seemed far away for a moment, and he thought he recognized something in them. Pain, desperation, terror, and suddenly Sam's stomach lurched, bile rising into his mouth. However, as suddenly as the look crossed Nikki's face it was gone, along with the wire buried in the sand and the blood on his hand. She smiled and pulled Sam down to her, grinding her naked hip against his.

"I love you Sam. I love how in your mind you are so creative, and you have no inhibitions about leaving Dean and Bobby alone to protect Jo and save the world."

She whispered those words lovingly against his neck, her warm breath heating his skin. Sam continued kissing Nikki, passion being the only thing registering in his mind, as his hands and mouth explored her exquisite body. She responded to his touch and once again the pounding was back, but this time it was the pounding of Sam's heated blood. Distantly he heard a roaring in his head again, but dismissed that as quickly as he'd dismissed the strange comment from her. Who was Dean? For a moment, Sam stopped, shook his head in confusion, and looked back down at her.

His breath caught in his throat, his body ramrod straight, and for a moment his heart stopped. In front of him was Nikki's naked body, razor wire wrapped around her, and his hands were bleeding. He was wrapping the wire around her stomach now, slicing deep as he pulled it tight. Leather straps weaved themselves around her shuddering body; bloody tears streaked down her face and into her hairline, down behind her ear, and pooled on the sand beside her head. Remotely Sam flashed back to a room filled with a river of blood, knew that under the leather were iron spikes that cut deep when the rings in the back of the harness were tightened.

He could feel them cutting in to his jawbones as he screamed.

Nikki's soft hand touched his bare chest; her knee nudged his naked hip, urging him on. Sam moved softly between her legs, his screams sounding foreign to his ears. What was making that awful keening noise, he wondered? Sea gulls, he decided. He twisted his hands in Nikki's hair, felt the cold metal of the ring as he squeezed; the soft strands had always caught his attention, spilling through his fingers like inky black coagulated blood. The kind he'd been made to drink, rough hands had forced it down his throat, hazel eyes had laughed as he'd gagged, ripped his jaw out of socket to force down more.

"My sweet little blood whore ...," he whispered ever so lovingly into Nikki's ear.

He frowned and leaned back, staring into silent hazel eyes. Rough hands gripped his upper arms, flipped him onto his back, kept rolling him till he was on his hands and knees. At one point sand spilled from the man's face as the world tilted, causing Sam's stomach to churn once again, the grainy sand sticking to an odd tattoo on his sweaty chest. Sam grunted as he was pushed face first into the sand, taking in a mouth full, as his arms were wrenched behind his back. Strong hands dug deep in to his hip, shattering bones, digging under the skin so far it was as if it was worming its way under his skin towards his heart. Sam gulped in air but couldn't get enough past his constricting throat, the roaring in his head coming to a loud crescendo.

"How many times did you scream Sammy? How many times did you realize that you had no hope? That you were helpless. Totally abandoned and I wasn't coming to save you?" The rough voice from behind him whispered into his ear almost as if to a lover, and pain blossomed in Sam's chest, the hand constricting around his heart. He gasped, turned his head to spit, and opened his eyes to gaze down desperately into Nikki's desolate ones.

"Wha .. What's happening?" he whispered brokenly, gasping for air.

She smiled slightly, her cool fingers trailing softly down Sam's neck. "Here inside your head Sam, you are unable to distinguish between what is real and what is Hell. This is what you will have to look forward to, should you stay."

Sam sat up, dragging her with him, and looked around. The man who had been torturing him was gone. He frowned. "I can't remember ... I had something important I needed to do."

She nodded, "I know." He whipped around to face her.

"Dean ... Bobby ..." he shook his head as if to clear the fog from his memories "I have to go back don't I?" he asked her. She shrugged, the white gown now covering her body again, and knelt in the sand before Sam.

"Only you can decide Sam. You have the power in you to finish this, one way or another."

"I don't understand." Nikki reached out and placed her cold hand on Sam's chest. He shuddered.

"You are a vessel, but you were not helpless. You are haunted by Hell, but Hell does not control you." Sam shook his head, grasping Nikki's cold shoulders.

"Stop it ... I ... I just want to be with you ..." Nikki frowned this time.

"I don't have long Sam and I have to go." His eyes met her sightless gaze in confusion again. Why was she so cold?

"If He controls Hell, and you are his Vessel, you control Hell as well through Him. You can unmake what has been done. As his vessel, you can tap into his powers and use it. You are the true King of Hell Sam. Finish this."

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**- I'm very narcissistic so please review -**


	12. No one gets off easy!

**A/N - Sorry for the long hellatus on the updates. Life .. pfht .. gets in the way everytime!**

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**No one gets off easy**

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Dean remembered Hell. He relived it every night, the sounds, the smells, the pain. It was a Horror that couldn't be described in human words, thoughts, or actions. Thing is, when him and Sam rounded the corner of that alley, he almost wished he was back in Hell. Because this was worse. Maybe because he knew that Sam had set this all up, or maybe it was the gore splattered over his jacket, or maybe it was what was left of Nikki hanging in the razor wire.

Dean knelt on the asphalt, his nose gushing blood, glaring hard at his brother who currently held a knife to Jo's throat. To one side Cas and Raphael were caught in fiery circle of holy oil. Crowley was on the ground, a devils trap the likes of which Dean had never seen before glowed hotly around him. Pure pissed off evil radiated off Sam in a way that made Dean shiver. He still couldn't look straight ahead, mainly due to the bodies of the demon's Crowley had summoned to defend him, but had turned on him instead at one single look from Sam. An army of Angel's held just slightly off to Dean's left by hundreds of Hell Hounds, Meg of all demons, hanging just to the back of them armed with Cas and Raphael's angel swords.

They were all at a complete stand still, waiting on Sam to make the final move.

Sam's body was coiled and ready to explode, his muscles bunching, the knife twisting just under Jo's chin. Jo cast desperate eyes at Dean, a low whimper escaping every time the knife swiped at her throat, tears mingling with blood and leaving red trail dripping off her chin. Dean drew in a ragged breath. Bobby lay on the steps unmoving, blood pooling from a gash in his forehead, and though Dean could see the shallow movement of the rise and fall of his chest, he knew he was in trouble and maybe even dying. The dragon's stood quietly by, a small female hanging loosely between them who Dean assumed was the Warden, having no compulsion what so ever to step in one way or another. They knew an Alpha Power when they saw one.

Dean's gaze swung back to Sam again, carefully avoiding the spot where razor wire hung like a grotesque spider web from the second story window ledge to the ground and spread between the stoop on the right side of the steps. Shredded leather straps with mean looking spiked studs swung limply in the light breeze. Other things hung from the mesh of razor wire as well, but Dean couldn't focus on that, couldn't focus on the bloodied black hair that hung in clumps in the wire. Yes he knew this torture method well; it's why Sam had punched him. He had designed it, under Alistair's tutelage, and perfected it over and over again. Crowley had placed Nikki in it, had let her writhing cut her to pieces, then placed her here in order to torture Sam. All it had done was insight Sam to a murderous rage.

He now stood menacingly above Dean, knife still twisting in hands, Jo shaking in his arms. Sam's face continuously twisted, his body seemed to focus in and out of this reality, almost as if he were somewhere between here and Hell. Dean could hear whispering, see Sam's lips moving as if he was talking to someone, and the voices kept getting louder and louder.

"What now Sam?" he asked quietly. Sam's gaze didn't budge from the razor wire, but the knife did finally stop moving. He dropped his arms and Jo immediately leaped to the steps, shedding her coat and pressing it to Bobby's bleeding forehead. Dean let out a sigh and stood.

He was immediately assaulted with the whispering voices getting louder, more insistent. His gaze was drawn to Cas, who slowly glanced behind him and then back to Dean. The twisting visage of Sam's face finally came into focus as he watched his brother fight for control, win, and then turn to face the Dragons. He gestured to the jars of dirt and blood.

"Take Jo and the jars upstairs, open the rift and get the fuck out of here." They didn't hesitate to do what Sam said, but as the Warden started to help Jo to her feet, Sam stopped her. "If you can't control Purgatory, I'll replace you with someone who can."

Her eyes narrowed at him but she nodded and quickly led Jo into the building. Dean started to move forward but Sam reached out and caught his arm. Dean hissed in pain, Sam's touch seemed to burn white hot and freezing cold all at the same time, an echoing chorus of screams nearly split his head open. He pulled back and stared into Sam's mute gaze, noting that Sam's hand had reddened almost like he'd been burned where he had grabbed Dean's arm.

"I'll deal with my team you go deal with yours."

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Cas didn't know if he should be thankful that Sam had spared him and his brother's or concerned that he'd left Dean to 'deal' with them. He'd always been able to see Dean's soul, knew that this man, this human, had the great capacity for loyalty, forgiveness, trust, and faith in family. But Cas had betrayed all that, and now as he watched Dean approach he knew that his brother's had been sorely mistaken when they had thought to defeat the Winchester's. They were a power the likes of which the Universe had never seen before.

The whispers in Dean's mind had calmed down to nearly quiet now as he passed between Cas and Raphael without even a glance. He walked calmly by Meg, past the Hounds who parted like a sea of black for him, and stopped at the Guff, which had been opened right on the street before them by Raphael in payment for the services he thought he was going to get from his deal with Crowley. For a moment Dean closed his eyes, turned his face towards the sky, and heaved a great sigh, gripping an Archangel sword tightly in his hand, his sword. He opened his eyes and looked thoughtful for a moment.

If he focused, he could hear each and every prayer being made by all the beings on earth, desperate pleas to stop the devastation that was going on globally due to the events taking place here. He knew each one of them, wanted to alleviate their fears, comfort them, and bring order to the chaos. He glanced out over the sea of Angels in front him.

"Clean. Up. Your. Mess." He ground out tightly between clenched teeth, his gaze narrowing on each one. "You were given a job to do, do it. Or so help me I'll rip the wings off all of you and show you what it's really like to be human! And the next time someone starts bitching about being bored, I'll smite his ass and have Sam put him to work cleaning out the Hell Hound cages!" Horrified, the angels dispersed, the whispers became prayers of thanks as the angels began their work. He turned and walked back to Cas and Raphael.

"What are you going to do with us now?" Raphael asked.

"For you?" Dean thought for a moment, looked back at Meg, then back to Raphael. Dean's smile raised hairs on Cas's arms. "I think some time here on earth with the "Mud Monkey's" should do you some good." Raphael's eyes widened. Almost instantly Dean held a glowing vial in his hands, which disappeared into this pocket. He patted Raphael's grace and smiled. The ring of holy fire disappeared.

"You can't do this … "

"Oh yes I can, douche bag. Now run."

"What .. run .. I don't understand." Dean smiled and flipped a thumb over his shoulder gesturing to Meg.

"He's giving you a head start, sweet cheeks, I'd do as he says." Meg sneered from behind them, patting an invisible hound. The sound of Raphael's shoes hitting the pavement was barely heard on her gleeful chuckle. "Thanks Dean. This should be all kinds of fun. I do love party favors." She started to leave but stopped and rounded on Cas. "But wait, there's more! What cha'ya gonna do with your ex-boyfriend here?" She smiled leeringly at Cas. "I'd love to have a Clarence doll for a parting gift." Dean grimaced.

"Go pound asphalt bitch." Meg giggled and walked off.

"She seems to be happy with the outcome." Dean glanced at Cas, lowered the fire around him, and ran a hand over his face. He caught sight of Jo coming from the building and sighed in relief when she sat heavily on the steps where Bobby was now awake and rubbing his head.

"Yeah, like a demon in a candy store. Creepy and all kinds of wrong." Dean started run his hands over his face again but stopped when he nearly put his eye out with his sword. "How the hell .. I mean crap .. do you put this thing away?" he growled. Cas simply reached into Dean's mind and showed him. Dean watched amazed as the sword disappeared then reappeared then disappeared again. "Cool."

"What now Dean? The angels are cleaning up, now that you've taken charge. The Warden is back and the rift is closed. The only thing left is me and Sam." Dean nodded, looking over shoulder at Sam who hadn't moved, but was still silently talking to himself.

"I should probably kick your ass," Dean said once again looking thoughtfully at Cas, "but I'm not sure if it would do any good. I know you did what you thought was right, and that in the end you fought against Raphael. But it doesn't change that fact that you betrayed Sam and me, Cas. You were like a brother, family, and I don't know if I can ever forgive what you did. Thanks to you I don't even know what we are now." Cas nodded and looked off to the distance.

"I understand."

"No, Cas you don't." Cas's eyes widened as he looked at Dean's serious ones. "This time Cas no one gets off easy." He reached out and touched Cas' forehead and the Angel was gone. He hated to send Cas to purgatory but not only did Dean want someone to keep an eye on the Warden and Purgatory but Dean was sick of him and Sam being the only ones who paid the price for someone else's mistakes. Cas need to learn a hard lesson and Dean was sure he'd learn it there.

Now all he had left was to deal with Sam. Dean sighed, again, turned resolutely towards Sam.

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**A/N: I really thought I had this story finished but ... nope ... Every ending I've wrote just didn't fit for me. So .. hopefully .. now that I've gotten past this part I can figure out what to do with Sam. And Bobby. Dean .. Ahhh crap .. how long can these stories be again? LOL**


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